|
 Menu
|
|
|
|
|
Social
|
|
|
|
|
Broken Blade
Contributed by
wachumiri
on
Wednesday, 12th December 2007 @ 12:26:17 PM in AEST
Topic:
anguished
|
Breathe,
Just breathe
Let love back in
Let life relive
Let water flow
And heal the broken
Seal the torn
But why?
She’ll hurt - and I can’t heal
She’ll bleed - I can’t bind
She’ll drown - and I can’t swim
That sea
No, not that sea
Why skilled in swimming be
When I can’t
When it really matters?
Why the mountains
I can’t climb?
Why the air
When I can’t breathe?
Why the words
When I can’t write?
Broken blade
Broken blade
Heartless beat
Inkless pen
Useless
Why beat,
My barren heart?
Why beat?
Why rebuild, remake, rekindle
When all is blown away?
In the end, broken pieces
Still stand
And fall again
Again
Again…
Why bleed, and sweat, and hurt,
For pain?
Why?
Because I need to prove
To myself
That love is real?
Because of love?
Why?
Copyright ©
wachumiri
... [
2007-12-12 12:26:17]
(Date/Time posted on
site)
Advertisments:
|
|
|
|
|
|
Sorry, comments are no longer allowed for anonymous, please register for a free membership to access this feature and more
|
|
All comments are owned by the poster. Your Poetry
Dot Com is not responsible for the content of any
comment.
That said, if you find an offensive comment, please
contact via the FeedBack Form with details, including poem title
etc.
|
|
|
Re: Broken Blade
(User Rating: 1 )
by conorshawn on
Wednesday, 12th December 2007 @ 12:34:10 PM AEST
(User
Info | Send
a Message)
|
| very good i like it. |
|
|
Re: Broken Blade
(User Rating: 1 )
by brew on
Wednesday, 12th December 2007 @ 12:36:21 PM AEST
(User
Info | Send
a Message)
|
Um.......WOW.........yes powerful , deep and to the point of ones heart. Yes, it hurts, yes its real, and Yes you can do again....Dont fall and not rise, Because YOU can........yes time will help, take away no..but help. Sorry for the hurt, hope in time it will be healed. Beautiful write......but heart felt on saddness.
Hugs
Brew~ |
|
|
Re: Broken Blade
(User Rating: 1 )
by Fionndruinne on
Wednesday, 12th December 2007 @ 05:01:23 PM AEST
(User
Info | Send
a Message)
|
More lyrical language, which is good. It suits matters of the heart better than rhyme or rhythm does.
I see a couple of lines that might be improved; personally I'd reword a little of the second and/or third lines in
Why skilled in swimming be
When I can’t
When it really matters?
largely because I think the first line is really well worded, and the following ones don't match it. But all in all it's quite good. It avoids being "not finished" by being open-ended.
But only just.
Andrew |
|
|
Re: Broken Blade
(User Rating: 1 )
by Anesthetic on
Wednesday, 2nd January 2008 @ 10:24:15 AM AEST
(User
Info | Send
a Message)
|
Wow great write!!
I really enjoyed it:)
~Charlie~ |
|
|
Re: Broken Blade
(User Rating: 1 )
by xmistyangel on
Wednesday, 2nd April 2008 @ 02:00:33 PM AEST
(User
Info | Send
a Message)
|
| nice |
|
|
Re: Broken Blade
(User Rating: 1 )
by fielding88 on
Monday, 30th June 2008 @ 07:21:24 PM AEST
(User
Info | Send
a Message)
|
| I absolutely loved the interrogatives upon which this poem lays its groundwork. I thought this was brilliant, a fine show of poesy. |
|
|
Re: Broken Blade
(User Rating: 1 )
by Former_Member on
Monday, 5th January 2009 @ 04:41:43 PM AEST
(User
Info | Send
a Message)
|
Wow, I don't know if you got your "frustrations down to a decent level" but you have definitely gotten that heartbreaking emotion down in poetic verse. Excellent work.
Thanks for sharing your heart and talent.
|
|
|
Re: Broken Blade
(User Rating: 1 )
by EcuaOrgullo310 on
Wednesday, 21st January 2009 @ 12:47:31 PM AEST
(User
Info | Send
a Message)
|
I hope I've proven to you that love is real...
I wondered this same thing before you..
Everything always seemed to go wrong.
Everything seemed to be fake.
Everything... hurt me.
I was hurting.
I was bleeding.
I was drowning.
I was empty.
No one cared.
I stopped caring.
But now... It seems that the emptiness in my heart was filled.
I hurt... you healed me.
I bled... and you did bind.
I was drowning.. and you saved me.
You've protected me from all my fears.
Your heart beats for me, and mine beats for you.
I love you.
Me. |
|
|
Re: Broken Blade
(User Rating: 1 )
by Former_Member on
Thursday, 12th March 2009 @ 07:10:15 AM AEST
(User
Info | Send
a Message)
|
this is genius. it's inquisitive, beautiful, angst-filled and emotive. i particularly love this bit:
'Why beat,
My barren heart?
Why beat?'
amazing poetry.
-phil |
|
|
Re: Broken Blade
(User Rating: 1 )
by ladyfawn on
Tuesday, 1st September 2009 @ 11:58:29 PM AEST
(User
Info | Send
a Message)
|
beautiful expression of feeling,
hugs n' love nessa |
|
|
Re: Broken Blade
(User Rating: 1 )
by Former_Member on
Monday, 28th December 2009 @ 11:38:35 AM AEST
(User
Info | Send
a Message)
|
Love is like faith,for it's not love or faith, which get's us down
it's usually people who pervert or diminish these pure and beautiful gifts
I like this poem because it shows that the pain is real
but we keep trying, we keep believing
even if we do wonder why
-D.Truth |
|
|
|
· 
Poetry
Community
Members
Areas
Reference
Search
Top
Others
