|
Menu
|
|
|
Social
|
|
|
|
Crisp
Contributed by
xnoybis
on
Friday, 7th December 2007 @ 04:09:46 PM in AEST
Topic:
oops
|
No lights in any direction
Breath made visible
By cold and moonlight
The sweet sound of silence
This must be what it's like
To wake up in a morgue
And be the Life of the party
The skeletal hands
of leafless trees
waving silently in the wind
A goodbye or a greeting
I could not say
Either way would feel the same
The wind whispers nothings
To the questions
I don't bother to ask
The cold air touches me
With indifference
The only kind I'd allow
I'd take a moment
To wish you were here
But I don't think you'd get it
Copyright ©
xnoybis
... [
2007-12-07 16:09:46] (Date/Time posted on
site)
Advertisments:
|
|
|
|
|
Sorry, comments are no longer allowed for anonymous, please register for a free membership to access this feature and more
|
|
All comments are owned by the poster. Your Poetry
Dot Com is not responsible for the content of any
comment. That said, if you find an offensive comment, please
contact via the FeedBack Form with details, including poem title
etc.
|
|
|
Re: Crisp
(User Rating: 1 ) by ki on
Saturday, 8th December 2007 @ 01:52:24 AM AEST (User
Info | Send
a Message)
|
interesting write |
|
|
Re: Crisp
(User Rating: 1 ) by TheSpiritx on
Saturday, 8th December 2007 @ 02:36:35 AM AEST (User
Info | Send
a Message)
|
Fantastic.
I'm a sucker for great imagery and different ways of looking at the world, and you have that ability.
I laughed at '... and be the life of the party.' - that's just what I am talking about.
I think that you put some thought into each line of this poem, so I would only suggest one possible change, though the poem is just as good as it is. 7th stanza, 1st line: "The wind whispers answers" - answers just seems to fit a little better to me.
In any case, I dig this poem :>
TS |
|
|
|