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Last Time, Last Dance
Contributed by
Maccabeus
on
Tuesday, 4th December 2007 @ 01:00:44 PM in AEST
Topic:
LostLove
|
Last Time, Last Dance
No rest for the weary,
No pay for the poor,
The world is a taint,
Nothing is pure.
I once believed that,
Falling down through the clouds,
That love doth forsake us,
Alone in a crowd.
I took it for dogma,
And chisel and steel.
And left me empty,
With nothing to feel.
And with nothing,
Nothing is what only you’ll get,
Because nothing penetrated
The sadness and sweat.
But, then I met her,
On a dazzling night,
The black of her dress,
Swallowed the night.
Something came into place,
And suddenly clicked.
Like a switch that had never came on,
Or had forgotten to be flicked.
Something connected,
Between two lost and romantic,
That turned us both,
Into blubbering semantics.
She danced with me,
And now I even remember,
The smell of her hair,
And I’ll never forget her
Last Place, Last Time,
I can ever remember.
The sounds of the past,
That I never surrender
And I know in my heart,
That night in December,
Will never be lost,
Though death do me part,
Through the dealing of cards,
And the dying of arts,
The love in one moment was just so pure,
The Infection, the Sadness,
The Pain and the Cure.
I take more than I came with,
And more love than I lost,
And I’ll always save one last dance.
Whatever the cost.
Copyright ©
Maccabeus
... [
2007-12-04 13:00:44]
(Date/Time posted on
site)
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Re: Last Time, Last Dance
(User Rating: 1 )
by TheGrimReapersHourglass on
Wednesday, 5th December 2007 @ 06:30:18 AM AEST
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a Message)
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| Last Dance With Mary Jane One More Time To Kill The Pain-Reminising cant be hazerdase to your health but its good From The Grim Reaper,DevilsPriest KnownAs LORD,Denver L.Jr. |
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Re: Last Time, Last Dance
(User Rating: 1 )
by travisk on
Friday, 21st December 2007 @ 08:46:23 AM AEST
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a Message)
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| well done |
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Re: Last Time, Last Dance
(User Rating: 1 )
by Silent-No-More on
Wednesday, 2nd January 2008 @ 10:38:56 AM AEST
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a Message)
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The black of her dress,
Swallowed the night.
I rather like these lines, as well as the closing lines of the second to last stanza. Some of the lines, however, did seem as if they had been forced in order to achieve a rhyme ("Or had forgotten to be flicked", for instance). Still, all and all, there is plenty to take in here and quite a bit, I found, to prompt a reader to their own remembering as well.
Keep writing,
~Snemmy |
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