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Voiceless Cry
Contributed by
Loende
on
Saturday, 1st December 2007 @ 09:47:56 AM in AEST
Topic:
anguished
|
She's the girl next door, forgotten and left
A picture in yearbooks that no one has kept
She once had dreams that were all that she wished
Each came,m each went, like leaves n the wind
Love and a family were all that she wanted
The echoes of emptiness are now all that haunt her
So much sadness, more than one soul should bear
Yet she's lived with it silently, year after year
She prays to God to take the pain
And as she waits, she goes insane
For in her mind there is no pain
And the death of emotions seems a gain
She the girl next door, but don't say hi
She's checked out now with a voiceless cry
She still sits there upon that shelf
Dusty, old and wracked with doubt
But words don't mean a thing to her
She's last year's model,a girl obscure.
Copyright ©
Loende
... [
2007-12-01 09:47:56]
(Date/Time posted on
site)
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Re: Voiceless Cry
(User Rating: 1 )
by Fionndruinne on
Saturday, 1st December 2007 @ 10:13:13 AM AEST
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a Message)
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Good stuff. A bit rough in the transition from rhyme to slant rhyme and back, but that won't kill anyone. Keep scribbling, yes?
Andrew |
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Re: Voiceless Cry
(User Rating: 1 )
by conorshawn on
Saturday, 1st December 2007 @ 03:15:14 PM AEST
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a Message)
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| this reminds me so much of someone i know. she broke my heart. |
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Re: Voiceless Cry
(User Rating: 1 )
by purplestary on
Saturday, 1st December 2007 @ 05:05:56 PM AEST
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a Message)
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| this is so amazing..so relatable...you have expressed these emotions well..i have always struggle to explain these very feelings and thoughts..nicely done. |
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Re: Voiceless Cry
(User Rating: 1 )
by lostinmyself on
Sunday, 2nd December 2007 @ 07:53:28 AM AEST
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a Message)
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*hugs tight* I love ya hun.
You know I get this, and that's all I'm willing to say, really.
(And btw, the first two lines in this were my favourite. Awesome, hun)
It's good to see you writing again.
Stay strong, my sister.
Phil xxx |
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Re: Voiceless Cry
(User Rating: 1 )
by BuTTerFly_LoVe on
Sunday, 2nd December 2007 @ 08:31:35 AM AEST
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i love this , i have something simlar ttis is a great write i loved it
~ BuTtErfiyL0ve ~ |
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Re: Voiceless Cry
(User Rating: 1 )
by ladyfawn on
Friday, 12th September 2008 @ 01:43:48 PM AEST
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a Message)
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excellent expression here, a beautiful poem...
hugs n' love nessa |
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Re: Voiceless Cry
(User Rating: 1 )
by Former_Member on
Tuesday, 2nd December 2008 @ 10:21:57 AM AEST
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a Message)
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good, particularly liked this bit:
She the girl next door, but don't say hi
She's checked out now with a voiceless cry
very good indeed. |
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