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I Feel No Pain
Contributed by
BurnedRose
on
Thursday, 22nd November 2007 @ 08:38:43 AM in AEST
Topic:
selfstruggles
|
My heart is black
black as night
ashes are all that is left
I feel no pain
what is the point
it won't make it go away
but yet deep down
I feel the pain
the pain that will never go away
I say I don't care
but deep down I do
with the ache that will always be there
Copyright ©
BurnedRose
... [
2007-11-22 08:38:43]
(Date/Time posted on
site)
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Re: I Feel No Pain
(User Rating: 1 )
by shelby on
Thursday, 22nd November 2007 @ 09:57:23 AM AEST
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a Message)
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This is so sad. The pain at times is hard to take but it makes us come from the storm if we use it to our advantage.
Michelle |
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Re: I Feel No Pain
(User Rating: 1 )
by Essentially9 on
Thursday, 22nd November 2007 @ 03:10:19 PM AEST
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| i like how you gave a description that you wrote this in ONE of your depressions, reminds me that depression often did that to me. sometimes id have a bad year and then a good few months and then another period came along. i think you went more for rawness than for poetic style, which suits some people and doesnt suit others. i personally like it when a person can do style and rawness at the same time, but it is a hard thing to do. i definitely didnt like how you said you feel no pain and then 2 lines later said you feel pain deep down so matter of factly. i think you shortchanged your emotions with being too direct and not letting your emotions show themselves through your words. you can tell someone you feel sad, but they wont feel sad. you write something that exudes your sadness, they will feel sad. i think you could have had that, but you were too direct and wanted to say how you feel-not show how you feel. showing is a lot more memorable and powerful. one day though, you will read your poems and think "ive forgotten how sad i used to be", and hopefully that day comes soon for you. |
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Re: I Feel No Pain
(User Rating: 1 )
by MemeCaroline on
Saturday, 24th November 2007 @ 09:50:39 PM AEST
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| I am sorry for your pain and sadness. I hope today is a happy one for you. |
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