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lies and decits

Contributed by seafire on Saturday, 17th November 2007 @ 02:35:19 PM in AEST
Topic: EmotionalPoetry



Lies and decits
will tear you down

lies and deceit
go round and round

lies and deceit
thrown in your face

lies and deceit
will meet its fate

Mare



Copyright © seafire ... [ 2007-11-17 14:35:19]
(Date/Time posted on site)





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Re: lies and decits (User Rating: 1 )
by Woodsy102 on Saturday, 17th November 2007 @ 04:52:20 PM AEST
(User Info | Send a Message)
Seems very true and a lot of people could probably relate to it.

The only thing i suggest is trying to find a proper way to make lines 6 and 8 rhyme, since this was your pattern with 2 and 4.

The rhyme seems forced in other words.




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