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My Love
Contributed by
woodsy102
on
Friday, 16th November 2007 @ 04:38:03 PM in AEST
Topic:
EmotionalPoetry
|
It's been so hard trying to get,
The girl that’s so lovely like you;
Your smile is only so bright,
I think about you day and night.
You are the one I want in my arms,
If you accept me we can wear some love charms.
I wish you would warm me up with a hug,
Keep me comfy when we cuddle so snug.
I wish you were with me now,
If you don’t like me, say I should skip town.
Please respond because I like you so dearly,
If you don’t my eyes will be really teary!
You are the love of my life
I won't be mad that you won't be my wife.
Written By: Quinton Woods
Copyright ©
woodsy102
... [
2007-11-16 16:38:03]
(Date/Time posted on
site)
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Re: My Love
(User Rating: 1 )
by PoeticHybrid on
Friday, 16th November 2007 @ 08:26:07 PM AEST
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a Message)
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| all in all a good write. Some of the rhymes seem forced, but other than that great job! |
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Re: My Love
(User Rating: 1 )
by Vampirequeen on
Friday, 16th November 2007 @ 10:12:38 PM AEST
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| i thought it was quite good for your first poem. |
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Re: My Love
(User Rating: 1 )
by madhusudan on
Friday, 16th November 2007 @ 11:23:31 PM AEST
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a Message)
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| Quinton..this is a nice poem...hope to read more and hope that the girl of your dreams isnt a dream anymore! |
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Re: My Love
(User Rating: 1 )
by Woodsy102 on
Saturday, 17th November 2007 @ 01:18:55 AM AEST
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a Message)
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Thanks for the feedback.
I agree about the forced rhymes, i am constantly still consulting the thersaurus and trying to see if other words would fit!!!
Hope to have another coming soon. |
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