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The Space Between...
Contributed by
zenmind
on
Thursday, 15th November 2007 @ 02:31:31 PM in AEST
Topic:
oops
|
Do you remember what it felt like
when you first lept into a giant mess
of rain--a puddle--
and before you broke through it
and slammed hard into the ground,
do you remember the space between
the puddle and the earth?
It is like this--a cloud floating between the edge
of atmosphere
and our bodies.
We are in that space, and if you
stop to feel, you will know.
Copyright ©
zenmind
... [
2007-11-15 14:31:31]
(Date/Time posted on
site)
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Re: The Space Between...
(User Rating: 1 )
by zenmind on
Thursday, 15th November 2007 @ 02:35:32 PM AEST
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| Just to clarify, for this excercise I had to describe what a cloud looks like to a blind person. You can imagine the problems that arise. It was fun to write this because I really had no idea how to approach it...and what came out seemed very touching to me in a way. |
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Re: The Space Between...
(User Rating: 1 )
by Former_Member on
Friday, 30th November 2007 @ 07:19:35 AM AEST
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indeed - touching.
i read the title to this - and had to read it. there's a song i like, with this same title. and for some reason, that phrase fascinates me. i actually have an idea i'm working on right now using that.
this...is an interesting way to describe a cloud. definitely not how most would approach it - which is good - different is always good. more remembered and whatnot that way.
and i especially love the last stanza - much more so then the rest of the poem. but it does add to it, i think.
and the title was fitting as well. it's all about space, the whole poem. you didn't make it about the cloud, but at the same time you make it a great majority. idk - but i do like this, a lot.
- Bethani - |
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