|
 Menu
|
|
|
|
|
Social
|
|
|
|
|
The Candle
Contributed by
Rescue
on
Wednesday, 14th November 2007 @ 08:08:21 AM in AEST
Topic:
LostLove
|
The candle burns
The joy of bringing others glee
She loves moths so dearly,
The friends she yearns to see
The moths dance around her
All through the night
Playing joyfully
In her radiant light
In time, the moths get burnt
The candle weeps and cries
For everyone she has loved,
Suffers and dies
Copyright ©
Rescue
... [
2007-11-14 08:08:21]
(Date/Time posted on
site)
Advertisments:
|
|
|
|
|
|
Sorry, comments are no longer allowed for anonymous, please register for a free membership to access this feature and more
|
|
All comments are owned by the poster. Your Poetry
Dot Com is not responsible for the content of any
comment.
That said, if you find an offensive comment, please
contact via the FeedBack Form with details, including poem title
etc.
|
|
|
Re: The Candle
(User Rating: 1 )
by zenith66 on
Wednesday, 14th November 2007 @ 10:58:52 AM AEST
(User
Info | Send
a Message)
|
well done for a first post freind and welcome to ypdc, if this is a metaphor for life then it is very good, lovely rhyme scheme,
well done!! |
|
|
Re: The Candle
(User Rating: 1 )
by Gravehorn on
Wednesday, 14th November 2007 @ 12:03:41 PM AEST
(User
Info | Send
a Message)
|
Not bad, but try applying a rhythm, and try to choose words that flow nicely together.
At least you choose to rhyme, unlike a lot of people on this site. |
|
|
Re: The Candle
(User Rating: 1 )
by ButchCorpuz on
Thursday, 15th November 2007 @ 07:33:06 PM AEST
(User
Info | Send
a Message)
|
A very lovely poem. Truly nice!
Keep writing, I'll keep reading.
Butch Corpuz |
|
|
Re: The Candle
(User Rating: 1 )
by Wachumiri on
Thursday, 6th December 2007 @ 07:41:08 AM AEST
(User
Info | Send
a Message)
|
Too often when all we want to do is light someone, to help them, all we do is tear them down.
Well done! A great first poem, just write as often as you can.
Take care,
David |
|
|
|
· 
Poetry
Community
Members
Areas
Reference
Search
Top
Others
