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I don't know, You never said
Contributed by
chillz09
on
Saturday, 10th November 2007 @ 09:26:05 AM in AEST
Topic:
Event
|
...Maybe so, but then again, I'll never know, because you never said. The rumors and lies you never cleared, seems to cloud my head. Constant visions of me dead, hearing the words, "I wish, I wish". I wish you would've done me better, wish our future could still exist. Hated that I loved you, still I missed you so much. Never thought about me twice, unless you wanted to *****. That's just my luck. Promised honesty, yet he never told the truth. All he saw was himself, like ***** emotional abuse. He was so sweet, and I trusted him, got the truth from a liar. Mind, body, spirit, and soul, he caught and set me on fire. Never thought to put it out before he walked out my life. The immeasurable time I spent alone, the lies I heard all night. It's just not right. But who the ***** am I to say what's right or not. And you can tell your girl bow down, she never got my spot. Simply because there isn't one. Back then love was a lie. The only thing that you were good for was hurting and making me cry. I take that back, that's a lie. Although I cried all alone. You were good to me, gave me a place I could call home. But you were always gone. Never tried to keep in touch. A few phone conversations, but never said too much. Maybe it was me, wanted so badly for you to be the one. Tried to run back to you, the healing of my heart just wasn't done. Thought you could be my number one. Finally I'd be happy. Like sometime in the future, I'd be mommy, you'd be daddy. You looked right past me. For what?? I was hoping you could tell me that. I figure if you asked me now, you could probably have me back. Not that you got it like that… then again, I guess you do. Searched for so long trying to find someone like you. Maybe it's time I do, if not like you, hopefully better. Remember the word forever, forever turned into never. I refuse to go back to that, where his heart was never at. It was good I guess, while it lasted. You just lacked the time and respect. Still I never rejected you! Through the hell that you took me through. Many lies that I told for you, all I put my family through. I guess that's why they say don't trust them, just ***** them and move on. You can fake and make it, battling the game, got to be headstrong. Oh, now this one said memories last forever. Right, and I'll never forget. I see now what it really was, they ALL treated me like *****. A little bit… I'm so confused, so glad to see that you're amused. You never came back to put out that fire that you fused. You lit it, watched it burn brightly, then you left it unattended. Took my heart and crumbled it, right after you attempted to mend it. Why not just end it here? You kept lying to cover old lies, I wasn't even mad cause I knew the whole damn time. Just didn't want to believe it, like preaching, some won't receive it. Wanted that lie to be the truth, so I gave it up all for you. Now this emptiness in my heart, and this pain down in my soul. Said you needed me and for three months I felt I was on the roll. But that ***** got old. You can say it, but it takes a man to prove it. Man it's not about your friends, but ***** it, I guess I blew it. I should've known all along, to just leave your ass alone. I knew it wouldn't be long, but your hold was so strong. Like you just couldn't let me go, if you'd ask me, I'd tell you no. I jus wanted to feel affection, I thought there was some connection. How could I have been mislead. All the knowledge that's in my head, was replaced by all the lies. My ears ache, from unheard cries. Of all questions, the main is why? There's no answer to why you lied. There's no answer to why we try. There's no question to you and I. But still, I can't deny, the love and pain I feel inside. It's like, without you I'd die, but my heart won't tell me why! And you do me so wrong, and it seems you don't care. And it hurts because you took away something that wasn't there. And it's weird cause I still care, though you hate me and don't mind showing it. I put the pieces back and then locked it, so you could open it. But why? When you knew you'd only rip it back apart. Like you were eating ice cream and cake, but you was ***** with my heart. In the ending, skipped the beginning cause I didn't know where to start at. So confused, how you manage to finish something you never started. Like the red sea, we were parted, but how you go from love to hate? I should've listened when they told me, "get out, before it's too late". But I didn't, I played the fool, and for what?? Cause I had love. Thought I was over you, why you the one I'm dreaming of? Why can't I get you off my mind? Is it cause you want to be free? Could it be that you think of me? Or could you be avoiding me? I'm so tired of all this pain. Been through the stormy nights and rain. Yes I sing it, but I can't live by it, everybody complains. I just want it to be right, never meant to make it wrong. I've done about everything. Even letters and love songs. Once I start, it's hard to finish. Man this pain is never-ending. I'll apologize once more, for the mixed messages you're sending. He can't be winning. I'm sorry!! If I don't do what you like. And I'm sorry you never saw that I needed you in my life.
Chillz
Copyright ©
chillz09
... [
2007-11-10 09:26:05]
(Date/Time posted on
site)
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Re: I don't know, You never said
(User Rating: 1 )
by Honey56 on
Saturday, 10th November 2007 @ 10:48:14 AM AEST
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a Message)
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A very nice writing..
Great this one was..
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Re: I don't know, You never said
(User Rating: 1 )
by emystar on
Saturday, 10th November 2007 @ 03:50:57 PM AEST
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Good work.
You should feel better now that you've got all that said.
huggs,
emy |
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Re: I don't know, You never said
(User Rating: 1 )
by unknown_utopia on
Saturday, 10th November 2007 @ 06:20:22 PM AEST
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good write
well done |
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