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Welcome !	Home · FAQ · Topics · Web Links · Your Account · Submit Poetry · Top 30 · OldSite Link	10-November 14:08:51 AEST

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Child

Contributed by TooPhat on Monday, 5th November 2007 @ 10:23:14 PM in AEST
Topic: oops

Child, child get your gullable self out of the clouds
Don't you know actin' immature ain't allowed
U better wake up child time is movin' on
And if u don't catch up with it
You ain't gonna make it in this world for long
You gotta believe child
You hear me?
BELIEVE!
If u put your mind 2 it there's no telling what u can achieve
Take a look at this world child, see what's gone wrong?
You've gotta aviod this trouble child, you've gotta be strong
Child, u gotta take a stand
Be a strong woman, be a strong man
When u grow up child what do u wanna be?
A Doctor, A Lawyer, or a Junky
Child, child you're society's only hope
If u don't change it how r we gonna cope?
So listen 2 me child and listen closely
You owe this 2 your people and society
But u owe it 2 yourself mostly.

Copyright © TooPhat ... [ 2007-11-05 22:23:14]
(Date/Time posted on site)

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Re: Child (User Rating: 1 )
by twick on Tuesday, 6th November 2007 @ 10:47:33 AM AEST
(User Info | Send a Message)

I liked this a lot. But all the "u"s instead of you or "2" instead to, took away from the poem.

But the flow was really good and the rhyming scheme was really good.

I think this could be a great poem!

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