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When you become me

Contributed by anesthetic on Tuesday, 23rd October 2007 @ 09:51:11 AM in AEST
Topic: DarkPoetry

When you become me
the world is solitary
a ship on my own
in the widest of oceans
as the time slowly passes
it seams to hault
suspended in this
never ending silence
all notion of you
of past of future
ceases

memories are nought
and though this was once
a populate mass it has
now become the one
me, myself that is the all
every person sees only themselves
and with out a way to reach out
we drift outwards

when you become me
the world is as one
not togerther but separate
desolate ships
of pain and dispair
all to themselves
forever suspended
with out a future
when you become me.

Copyright © anesthetic ... [ 2007-10-23 09:51:11]
(Date/Time posted on site)

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Re: When you become me (User Rating: 1 )
by fielding88 on Tuesday, 23rd October 2007 @ 05:13:46 PM AEST
(User Info | Send a Message)

I thought this was pretty good. The ideas, the pacing, the subject matter in general was handled quite well. Good job.

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