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My Ocean
Contributed by
wachumiri
on
Tuesday, 16th October 2007 @ 05:28:20 AM in AEST
Topic:
LovePoetry
|
Silent Whisper, growing louder
Silent Whisper, shake me heart
Tremors growing, moving mountains
Shaking Earth beneath my feet
So I tremble, so I fall
So my grasp, my hold is lost
And so I crumble, and I fade
And lose the essence of this man.
And you, my love, scream my heartbeat
And you, my love, move these mountains
What I was never meant to be
You push me, love, and set me free
You are the wind above the waters
You are the moon that raises tides
You are the beach that draws the waves
You are the heart where love abides
Copyright ©
wachumiri
... [
2007-10-16 05:28:20]
(Date/Time posted on
site)
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Re: My Ocean
(User Rating: 1 )
by Ruby2sdy on
Tuesday, 16th October 2007 @ 05:40:32 AM AEST
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I love that last stanza! and the line What I was never meant to be/You push me, love, and set me free
truly a beautiful piece, very nice! Thanks, 2sdyx |
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Re: My Ocean
(User Rating: 1 )
by Gravehorn on
Tuesday, 16th October 2007 @ 07:49:05 AM AEST
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| Yes, a very lovely poem. I too love the last stanza. Good job, and thank you. |
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Re: My Ocean
(User Rating: 1 )
by Former_Member on
Tuesday, 16th October 2007 @ 11:59:43 AM AEST
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*mmmmmmmmmmm ....pizza ..........*
sorry ... having a Homer Simpson moment ...
I can't believe you wrote this on a napkin! WOW! Inspiration
comes in the most odd of places, eh? And damn, what fine
inspiration this was too! Right from the breathtaking title on
down to the very last B E A U T I F U L line! Man, the whole
last STANZA is magnificence! (I'm such a sucker for rom
But in all honesty, I could not pick a favourite line, word, or
stanza as all together they are just too moving.
Elegant. Arresting. Beautiful. Overwhelming
~Breezy |
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Re: My Ocean
(User Rating: 1 )
by Silent-No-More on
Tuesday, 16th October 2007 @ 12:43:00 PM AEST
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A friend of mine let me borrow a book once that was filled with photographs of airline and hotel cocktail napkins, scraps of paper and what not - all with fabulous scribbles present on them. The scribbles (lyrics, lines of poetry, random thoughts) all belonged to one man... Jimi Hendrix. Facinating stuff. Seriously facinating.
There is something to be said, I think, for the thoughts that interrupt routine. Those write-me-down-now thoughts are so often so abundantly clear. (Hell, someone would make a fortune if they could bottle the whatever-it-is that brings them bubbling to the surface, you know?) Your a/n on this piece doesn't surprise me... it has that unnameable something.
Keep reaching, poet.
~Snemmy |
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Re: My Ocean
(User Rating: 1 )
by deadheadpoet on
Wednesday, 17th October 2007 @ 06:07:06 AM AEST
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I'm in love with you....*coughs and smiles* I mean I'm in love with this write. My goodness this can make the heart flutter....written on a napkin, sweet. (I'm surprised it wasn't duct tape...hee hee, you can do a lot with that stuff). You are a sweetheart, my friend and I so loved reading this....the last stanza just melted me. Thank you for sharing.
Peace and hugs,
Laura |
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Re: My Ocean
(User Rating: 1 )
by brew on
Wednesday, 17th October 2007 @ 11:51:44 AM AEST
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Wow ,to just be so inspired, it flowed on a simple napkin
Odd how the mind flows, and lets the inner go outer
Yes beautiful write and with such grace, may i add. I think how ever the minds feeds the soul...let it flow.
Lovely
brew~ aka Dayna~ |
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Re: My Ocean
(User Rating: 1 )
by lostinmyself on
Friday, 19th October 2007 @ 09:47:57 AM AEST
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I dunno anyone who can write like this, David. You truly have a talent for this. I love the simple styles you use, and how you use the words to such a great effect. No one I know can use repetition like you, and still make it sound good.
It's beautiful.
(And you so know I love everything you write, right?)
I couldn't agree more with Roxie's comment, and Laura is right, you are a sweetheart.
I am so happy for you.
Keep writing ok?
*hugs tons*
Me xxx |
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Re: My Ocean
(User Rating: 1 )
by fielding88 on
Tuesday, 23rd October 2007 @ 04:27:19 PM AEST
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| Ah, the writing utensils we use when inspiration strikes are priceless. Those moments in life that prompt an artist to produce something in the oddest of places are usually the most contemplative, the most thought-provoking. Well done. |
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Re: My Ocean
(User Rating: 1 )
by EcuaOrgullo310 on
Tuesday, 20th January 2009 @ 04:23:41 PM AEST
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I love that I inspire you to write such beautiful words.
I love you.
Loly |
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Re: My Ocean
(User Rating: 1 )
by Former_Member on
Thursday, 12th March 2009 @ 07:18:36 AM AEST
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the best thing ever to be written on a napkin, no doubt. very good indeed. especially this bit:
And you, my love, scream my heartbeat
And you, my love, move these mountains
What I was never meant to be
You push me, love, and set me free
awesome.
-phil |
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