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Warrior
Contributed by
Fionndruinne
on
Saturday, 13th October 2007 @ 06:15:23 PM in AEST
Topic:
Lifepoems
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So, do you conquer?
Does your sword drive home
Your dreams?
Whoever said “warrior”
Didn’t say enough, for
War expands the darkest places
Of the heart when it fills you.
No partaker of the skills
Of combat am I,
But a ship,
Whose sails are filled with war,
With war as cargo,
And carved from stem to stern of war.
Such does not float
A damned moment.
You know that well.
No courageous warrior
Goes down without a fight.
The oars, the buckets,
Wielded fierce as ever
The death-dealers were
In fearless hands before.
All in vain.
Down you go.
What you didn’t know,
Proud scholar of battles,
Is that only at the bottom,
In all your deadweight armor,
Does the lead come out
Of the soul,
As the deep does its work.
Salt eats at your broken blade
As slowly you buoy up, remade.
© MMVII ADL
Copyright ©
Fionndruinne
... [
2007-10-13 18:15:23]
(Date/Time posted on
site)
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Re: Warrior
(User Rating: 1 )
by Former_Member on
Sunday, 14th October 2007 @ 12:09:49 AM AEST
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Holy HECK!! Andrew, when you come back, you come back with FEROCITY!!
The last two lines are emblazoned with hope! Nothing like hitting "rock bottom"
to reinvent yourself, eh? Wow! Damn, this is potent!
I've always enjoyed the way you write. There is such an old feel to it,
(not the language necessarily, but the words themselves, if that makes
sense; they hold something ancient). I ADORE the line about the lead
coming out of the soul. Your metaphors and imagery are exceptional.
They add to the words and gives this piece that much more meaning.
Excellent work, poet.
~Breezy |
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Re: Warrior
(User Rating: 1 )
by Former_Member on
Sunday, 14th October 2007 @ 03:07:43 AM AEST
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'She does not float
A damn moment
You know that well'
No,she doesn't.
A wish-I-could-have-written-that poem,
with believable hope.
Den |
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Re: Warrior
(User Rating: 1 )
by deadheadpoet on
Sunday, 14th October 2007 @ 10:25:04 PM AEST
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Excellent write, my brother. I somehow have to believe that part of your soul was indeed this warrior back in time...and you are still that magnificent warrior in "this" time....in just a different way. It would seem as many of us are looking for renewal..a change of sorts in our hearts and souls.
Andrew, I enjoy the way you write. It always gives me this feeling of stepping back in time, perhaps it is the ancient wisdom that you seem to exude.
The last lines, I love....Thank you for sharing.
Peace, love and hugs,
Laura |
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Re: Warrior
(User Rating: 1 )
by veenu on
Sunday, 14th October 2007 @ 10:46:47 PM AEST
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| great write..............really...... keep sharing ur pen which sketches a masterpiece |
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Re: Warrior
(User Rating: 1 )
by brew on
Monday, 15th October 2007 @ 11:44:42 AM AEST
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TO be so determined and with such strength......Bravo....
What a wonderful piece of work
Gave so much to one who reads and takes in
Loved it
Brew~ |
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Re: Warrior
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by ShadowDaughter on
Monday, 15th October 2007 @ 03:27:52 PM AEST
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From the first stanza. Wow. I'm shaken and all crumbly.
Beautifully done, Andrew.
--Nora |
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Re: Warrior
(User Rating: 1 )
by Silent-No-More on
Monday, 15th October 2007 @ 04:21:07 PM AEST
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As the deep does its work.
Indeed. We do so madly flail about trying to keep our heads above water, don't we? I'd agree, it makes good sense sometimes to let oneself drown. There is a truth down there that one cannot find otherwise.
Excellent post, friend.
~Snemma
(who loved many more lines than just the one excerpted above and who noted, with mixed reaction to be honest, your broken blade) |
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Re: Warrior
(User Rating: 1 )
by Wachumiri on
Thursday, 18th October 2007 @ 12:55:21 PM AEST
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Well written, well used... Damned well.
Take care,
David |
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Re: Warrior
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by lostinmyself on
Friday, 19th October 2007 @ 10:17:47 AM AEST
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It's about time, you know. It's so good to see a write from you.
Yeesh, I never know what to say about your poems. They are so much deeper than I could ever be. But what I do know is that you have such a magnificent style, I could read it all day, and there are few I could read all day. In fact, there are only 3. Yours, Jarred's and Roxie's.
I like the way the end rhymes and stands out. So many poems don't feel finished to me when I read them, but this has a note of finality to it. I also love the way it's set out.
Keep on writing, ok?
*hugs* Phil xxx
(Who wishes she could comment how she wants to) |
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Re: Warrior
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by Nazmythian on
Wednesday, 24th October 2007 @ 03:05:09 PM AEST
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Many thoughts and ideas surface upon each read of these words...
From the opening lines that beg the questions... What dreams has the warrior? Are they his own? Or is he at the mercy of his liege, with much simpler, nay... less complex aspirations? Does he exist simply to fight well?
The weight of truth flows heavy in the second stanza. The heart does often grow darker from contant conflict.
And much like the sword that lies broken in the end... the ship is but a tool, an instrument that does its masters bidding. Not so very much different then than the dutiful warrior then, and ultimately... just as indespensible.
Nazzy ~
( who may have really missed the intended mark... but really appreciated the way this made his mind turn )
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Re: Warrior
(User Rating: 1 )
by needledancing on
Friday, 11th January 2008 @ 07:45:16 PM AEST
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Whoever said “warrior”
Didn’t say enough, for
War expands the darkest places
Of the heart when it fills you.
This line to me is the heart of the poem...for despite the praise the warrior gets for every battle won.....how still he carries the soul of lead until he crumbles to the ground.
I love this write as I do all your pieces.
In a time when warriors are now falling it trully reflects each fallen warriors last reality. |
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Re: Warrior
(User Rating: 1 )
by zenith66 on
Wednesday, 21st May 2008 @ 08:46:18 AM AEST
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| Wow stunning!! the name just drew me to it and i was taken aback at how sucked into it i got, the amazing metaphors the sinking of the soul toward the end the brillinat sentences you used, i love how you described the ships cargo as war itself, gave a real feeling of long standing burdon and pain, your writing feels like somethign from ancient ireland and posseses an ambiguous rustic kind of atmosphere that really appeals to me!!! last two lines werer awesome1 KEEP IT UP!!! |
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Re: Warrior
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by zelator on
Friday, 23rd May 2008 @ 04:38:30 PM AEST
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beautiful
the pull of self righteous anger...........
how it corrodes the soul |
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Re: Warrior
(User Rating: 1 )
by Muinanyere on
Monday, 26th May 2008 @ 08:06:29 AM AEST
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| Very well done, good write. Keep up the good work! |
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Re: Warrior
(User Rating: 1 )
by holy on
Monday, 9th June 2008 @ 11:08:40 AM AEST
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I am reading your this poem again and again,
good job, I can almost hear your high voice go through what you written. |
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Re: Warrior
(User Rating: 1 )
by Loende on
Friday, 4th July 2008 @ 09:56:16 PM AEST
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Brooked no argument indeed. It's tight and pithy. It is harsh and yet beautiful. You draw from a deep well, a Stor, one that I wish more had. Well done.
Be well,
Loende |
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Re: Warrior
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by wheels on
Monday, 4th August 2008 @ 04:18:38 PM AEST
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| A well written poem with a matery of imagery casting visions in the shadows. Bold and aggresive. --kevin |
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Re: Warrior
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by eeeitak on
Monday, 1st September 2008 @ 10:06:59 AM AEST
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| You have a very distinct style, and you have phrased each line of this poem just flawlessly. An excellent write indeed :) |
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Re: Warrior
(User Rating: 1 )
by ladyfawn on
Thursday, 4th September 2008 @ 09:20:07 AM AEST
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sooo beautifully written, im quite happy to have read this one:)
hugs n' love nessa |
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Re: Warrior
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by Former_Member on
Wednesday, 22nd October 2008 @ 04:01:14 AM AEST
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Going down hard, he sank, and yet at there very end hope. Your imagery is great but methinks somehow I am missing some of the message. Could be an amazing metaphor at how hard life is at times? Seems that's what it is to me. Great writing no matter what the case and quite captivating.
Take care and thanks,
Tim |
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Re: Warrior
(User Rating: 1 )
by Former_Member on
Tuesday, 2nd December 2008 @ 12:44:22 AM AEST
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This is fascinating and given it's age on this site I am kicking myself for not finding this sooner though I have read and commented on your work on much more than one occassion (how did I over look this?). This is fantastic, enormous, deeply poetic and wonderfully passionate.
It reminds me of some people I know (all in different parts of the work). To have war in your heart and then not to know what to do without it. At least that is what I get from my reading. This is a masterpiece. You should be damn proud of this. DAMN PROUD!
SUPERIOR!
SCM |
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Re: Warrior
(User Rating: 1 )
by Former_Member on
Monday, 8th December 2008 @ 06:12:01 PM AEST
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| This is an awesome piece of writing. Very deep! |
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Re: Warrior
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by Former_Member on
Friday, 3rd July 2009 @ 05:53:30 AM AEST
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a quite remarkable piece of professional poetry. fabulous.
-Phil |
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Re: Warrior
(User Rating: 1 )
by Former_Member on
Monday, 2nd November 2009 @ 11:45:54 AM AEST
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It's been a long time since I was here on your-poetry.com!
Fantastic piece, and what's more, it speaks to me now...
Peace friend. |
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