first love is often time the hardest love to let go of
Contributed by
desire
on
Wednesday, 10th October 2007 @ 09:01:53 AM in AEST
Topic:
StoryPoetry
|
the first time i feel in love, it was heaven on earth or so it seemed
he was every thing, i could ever have dreamed
tall, handsome, kind and sweet to me
and i was so involved, that anything other than that i couldnt see
i was blind to any fault, that he may have had
i guess thats one of the things, in the end that make parting sad
is that everything that could have went wrong, i chose not to see
why should i think anything, other than he was so in love with me
and it wasnt that he was an abusive man in any way
he was perfect for me, but i ignored everything anyone else had to say
and we had a great relationship in everyway
then small things i didnt see before, started getting in the way
like his drinking more than he needed to, almost every day
and i found myself slowly starting. to drink the same way
and there were the people who were clearly, not my kind of crowd to hang around
and they had the reputation, of being crack heads around town
i wanted to believe that he was done with that part of his life now
and so i convinced myself of it some how
because nothing between us, was out of the ordinary, it was still all good
so i never complained about them, the way when my gut said i should
then the missing work, because he partied to hard the night before
was slowly starting to become a habbit i couldnt ignore
but as always he had an excuse, that was logical in some way
i started noticing the glossed over eyes, that couldnt look me in the face
and i knew it was a part of his life, that i could not and would not embrace
i had two boys i was rasing, and i wouldnt do it living with him knowing
it wouldnt be long before his drug habbit ways, would really start showing
let me make this clear, so there is no misunderstanding in anyway
he never mistreaded me or the boys mentally, or physically not at all
the decision to leave, was just a whats best for my boys, a mothers instinct call
as much as i loved him, i couldnt stay and watch his demise
and i couldnt no longer look him in the eyes, and ignore his lies
not to mention he had 3 kids, that i had to leave behind
but i prayed and searched my heart, for the right answer to find
and i got the answer, that my leaving would be as much for him, as it was for me
he would hopefully wake up and realize, that part of his life his kids didnt need to see
so i gave my hugs, and kisses before i left out the door
and as i left i was over come with a sadness, i couldnt ignore
but we do in this life, what we are meant to
and trust Gods, grace to get us through
the fact that i was leaving, didnt change our friendship that much
i promised, that i would always stay in touch
and i kept that promise, even to this day
i call, and write to say hey, and make sure everyone is ok
he will always be, someone dear to me,
for he, was my first love you see
Copyright ©
desire
... [
2007-10-10 09:01:53]
(Date/Time posted on
site)
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