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Internal Tug of War

Contributed by searchingmyself on Thursday, 27th September 2007 @ 10:14:47 PM in AEST
Topic: selfstruggles

I feel so insignificant, so weak, so small
in my pain and confusion, I am missing it all

This life won't stand still---it waits for no one
what I've lost, what is gone
Oh God, what have I done?

I can't do it all over
I can't get that time back
so what is left now?
all I feel.....is all that I lack

I am stuck within myself
every door leads nowhere
like the walls are all barren
and the road ends right there

as these tears fall down my cheeks
and I yearn to be free
will I ever, really ever
be allowed to be me?

I could take that step
I could change it all
but at what cost would they suffer---turn their world upside down?
because their mom needs a new start? how fair does that sound?

It's not fair at all and so very hard to do
is it selfish? is it wrong?
to put them both through?

I am trying to wait
to get out from under myself
I could start to live now, make the most of this time
but I can't seem to move forward when all I want is to rewind

Where will this all lead me? I know there's something in store
I'll find it somehow....I'll keep searching for more.....

Copyright © searchingmyself ... [ 2007-09-27 22:14:47]
(Date/Time posted on site)

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Re: Internal Tug of War (User Rating: 1 )
by PhantomVampyress on Friday, 28th September 2007 @ 08:53:28 AM AEST
(User Info | Send a Message)

this is a very raw straightforward life poem.. it describes confusion very well.. and i especially liked the ending of this.. great job

rock on,

vampyress jenni

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