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Love Poem,...sort of

Contributed by Cancer on Tuesday, 4th March 2003 @ 11:30:00 AM in AEST
Topic: DarkPoetry



i just wanted someone to hold on to
i just wanted someone who cared
all i needed was a listening ear
and a loving smile
i guess, all i really wanted was love

and then Fate flung you towards me
you seemed so perfect
during the desperate years
that i watched (stalked?) you
i found not one flaw

seeing you date all those other men,
the ones who could never
truly appreciate you,
tore my heart asunder

crying at night
still alone
so afraid of rejection
so afraid that my worst fears were true
that i would never belong to you

so long i held back the deluge of my love
so many nights spent
drowned in tears and my own blood
you see, i cut myself for you
i made blood sacrifices
to whatever god would listen
but, none of them brought you any nearer

after awhile the self-mutilation became habit
almost comforting
in a self-destructive sort of way
if you only knew how many scars i have
that bear your name

your name etched onto
the soul i thought i'd lost
your seraphic smile
burned into my brain
everyone's voice started sounding like yours
at first, i thought i was going insane
but then i realized
that's just what love does to you
it makes you kinda crazy
hell, everybody thought i was crazy anyway
but i wasn't,
just lonely

finally, after years of fear
and attraction (obssession)
i worked up the nerve to tell you how i feel
i was still worried what others would think
me being 37
and you only 15
but, i figured that, once they saw
how in love we were
that their worries would soon fade

mama says that love conquers all
mama says that any woman
would be lucky to have me
and when you realize that
you can come live with me and mama
we'll be like a happy little family

so i followed you this morning
as you jogged down that lone country road
(like you do, every morning, at 5:03 a.m.)
and when you detoured into the woods
(like you always do around 5:19 a.m.)
to stop and rest by that stream you so love
i approached you

you seemed alarmed at first
but, i figured that when you heard
what i had to say
you would calm down
and throw yourself into my arms
so that i could taste that first kiss
that i've dreamed about for so long

but, you only got worse
you weren't listening, damn you!!
you started to scream for help
so i grabbed you
and you shook you a little
i was only trying to get you to calm down
but, you fought me and fell
your beautiful head striking that stone
that lucky stone that waited for you everyday
beside the wretched stream
the wretched stream that knew your love

i don't know why i'm telling you this
you haven't moved in hours
but, i know that you're watching me
watching and waiting in heaven
waiting for your love to join you
i guess i just wanted you to know all this
and don't worry, i don't feel guilty
i know i didn't "kill" you
i'm sure you shared the same fear as i
about the reaction our love would glean
this was probably your plan all along
i am so touched that you would die
just to be with me in heaven
where we can live and love in peace

well, here i come sweetheart
the pistol is already loaded
(it was just a coincidence
that i carried it with me today, honest)
your cold, earthbound lips
beg for one first kiss
one last kiss
one last earthly affirmation of my love

now beside you i lie
staring at your blue sky
tears of joy, i cry
now, for you my love, i die




Copyright © Cancer ... [ 2003-03-04 11:30:00]
(Date/Time posted on site)





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Re: Love Poem,...sort of (User Rating: 1 )
by bobotheclown on Tuesday, 4th March 2003 @ 02:12:48 PM AEST
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I liked this Roy very beautiful and dark. Very well written. I love the emotion and fear you pour into this. Thanx for sharing this buddy.

Your friend,
Joel


Re: Love Poem,...sort of (User Rating: 1 )
by hardcoreputa on Thursday, 6th March 2003 @ 01:37:10 AM AEST
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awsome poem, its so filled with emotion. it is simply great. it is so dark, i just had to read it again, u have a way with words... thanx for sharing.


Re: Love Poem,...sort of (User Rating: 1 )
by rustygrl33 on Saturday, 8th March 2003 @ 08:23:21 PM AEST
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whoa! that is so good! i really like it! great write!


Re: Love Poem,...sort of (User Rating: 1 )
by hardcoreputa on Thursday, 1st May 2003 @ 10:40:27 AM AEST
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hmmm... its weird i always keep coming back to read this poem, just something about it... i have probubly read this poem 28 times or so and its just great... like all ur poems ok well i think i have praised it enough cant wait to read more of ur work ~Apryl




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