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Killing You Softly
Contributed by
deadheadpoet
on
Monday, 20th August 2007 @ 02:20:07 PM in AEST
Topic:
DarkPoetry
|
I could kill you with my bare hands.
Seen the scene play through my
destroyed mind like
a cheap thriller playing
at that old drive-in theatre
out on Highway 54.
Your long pale neck so
skinny and scrawny.
Chicken neck.
So easy to grab
twist and snap.
I'll snatch you up so fast sister...
You'll not feel a damn thing.
I'll watch with delight as
the fake smile leaves your
pock marked face.
The thick make-up you paint on
won't even begin to cover the ashen hue.
Your body falls and lands
in a shallow puddle that was you.
I laugh at your lifeless form.
That's what happens
when stupid little girls
mess where they shouldn't.
"Locked closets" is such a joke...
I'll see you in the hells
we create.
8/19/07
Laura Howell Horner
Copyright ©
deadheadpoet
... [
2007-08-20 14:20:07]
(Date/Time posted on
site)
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Re: Killing You Softly
(User Rating: 1 )
by fielding88 on
Monday, 20th August 2007 @ 02:59:17 PM AEST
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| Well this is quite the fiery piece. What stands out the most is the strong use of metaphor from beginning to end, which really helps to evoke emotion in the reader. Nice job. |
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Re: Killing You Softly
(User Rating: 1 )
by Asthenia on
Monday, 20th August 2007 @ 03:31:50 PM AEST
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This is a pretty thrilling write, at least I found it to be. From the first line I was into this, it had me hooked. I could just imagine the act going down as I read thru this poem,
"I'll snatch you up so fast sister...
You'll not feel a damn thing"
Woo, those two lines really got me, I loved it.
Great piece you have here! |
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Re: Killing You Softly
(User Rating: 1 )
by myheartsvoice on
Monday, 20th August 2007 @ 10:47:47 PM AEST
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Very intence though apropriately and rightly so . . . well done sister laura . . .
((((peace 2 you and your family))))
your bro Ben |
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Re: Killing You Softly
(User Rating: 1 )
by shelby on
Tuesday, 21st August 2007 @ 05:14:03 AM AEST
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Oh Laura,
this is full of fire and rock hard emotion...
I feel this to the core...
These feelings are well founded.
I liked your comment you left in my poem. I also agree!!
If I was in MO know that I would stand on the other side and help....... I say take all the ***** out....... Yes lets go on an asskickin rampage and take all the loser sisters out take em to hell where they belong!
Wahhhhhh ha ha haaaaaaaaa
huggers
Michelle |
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Re: Killing You Softly
(User Rating: 1 )
by needledancing on
Tuesday, 21st August 2007 @ 11:55:59 AM AEST
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| A good piece of work to vent through feelings others can surely relate to.I'm sending a hex to her and a wild dose of crabs.......but I'm also remembering what you give out you get back...so I have to be careful what I send....Hugs Sis. |
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Re: Killing You Softly
(User Rating: 1 )
by ferasdour on
Tuesday, 21st August 2007 @ 01:25:18 PM AEST
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the idea of snapping someone's neck does seam like ever so much fun, however, if you ask most any one who has done it, they will tell you it's sinceless, inane, and other wise fullish.
just use a dagger. (or sword, but not a gun, thats just the pansy way) |
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Re: Killing You Softly
(User Rating: 1 )
by Willofree on
Wednesday, 22nd August 2007 @ 02:04:17 AM AEST
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Wow Laura, pretty gruesome poem that depicts a lot of anger it seems. But then fantasies are a great way of dispelling anger. You could be talking about someone else or figureatively about your self with some self loathing.... I hope not.
Very creative but somewhat distressing. I hope you are doing ok, my friend. Forgive me if I have misread your write, Laura.
Will |
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Re: Killing You Softly
(User Rating: 1 )
by darkangeleyes57 on
Wednesday, 22nd August 2007 @ 03:16:47 AM AEST
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This was so amazing and very vivid. I liked it a lot. I have had my own thoughts like this. Truly brillant from a wonderful poet. I especially love the last line. It is so true.
Take care
Christina |
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Re: Killing You Softly
(User Rating: 1 )
by Former_Member on
Thursday, 23rd August 2007 @ 02:34:11 AM AEST
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Damn, sis. This is serious pain.
To be driven to a point so maddening that you actually wish harm
on another .. now THAT is a RAW anger that could only come from
the depths of someone in agony. As you know, I have entertained
the idea a time or two myself, (not in any serious reality, of course) and
I completely understand where this comes from .... I've even been
of the mind that a 'snapping of one's neck' is too good for some.
Terrible way to think, but the world is full of cruel people who
care NOT who they hurt or trample on ... in "the pursuit of their own
happiness ~" yeah ... well .. whatever!
I love this piece, sis. It MUST have felt good to write it. A release of sorts ..
peace and love and hugs to you, hun
~MG |
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Re: Killing You Softly
(User Rating: 1 )
by zenith66 on
Thursday, 23rd August 2007 @ 08:12:42 AM AEST
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god you really have made this a hard hitting write, its very honest to me, love its kind of rythm also...i have felt like this before, we all have, thank you for putting it in words and releasing my anger for the day lol...
well done!!!
zenith66 |
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