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Our Relationship
Contributed by
allidoiswrite82
on
Saturday, 18th August 2007 @ 10:53:15 AM in AEST
Topic:
LostLove
|
Can you not see that we are sinking
from the argument we had last night
one would conclude you knew what I was thinking
and our souls are so entwine
that I know you like a fine wine
so you tend to lie when your not blinking
and our conversations on the phone
are ill mannered and monotone
and our home is not a our home
because the two of us are alone
we pass with faded graces
fake smiles on our faces
at times I really hate this
but I guess I too contributed to the bases
I could have chose to confront this
I know neither of us want this
but to put the situation blunt it is this
hollow hugs and empty kisses
between Mr. and his Mrs.
yet friends they insist it's
these seven year itches
I'm so tempted to dissolve this
co-existed existence
but I'm also so seduced
by the scent of my mistress
so I'm torn between the north and south poles is what the twist is
and we fight over elementary issues like who's turn to do the dishes
if you look up ridicules
I swear that's what this is
We have built our house on quicksand
so were sinking much to fast and
the constant complain'n
so how prevents me from change'n
its much to easy to see how
it's emotionally drain'n
its like standing in the rain'n
not having umbrella
to shield you from the pain'n
yet your forced to remain
while happier souls frolic
on the opposite side of the window pane
despite my willingness to take blame
it still drives me insane
I'd sooner drown in these waters
then feel these disorders
and my heart is so out of order
that its been pushed to the border
I'd sacrifice myself
for love I'll be a mortar
personally burst my heart into a million pieces
I.. I.. Cant complete this
Copyright ©
allidoiswrite82
... [
2007-08-18 10:53:15]
(Date/Time posted on
site)
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Re: Our Relationship
(User Rating: 1 )
by deadheadpoet on
Saturday, 18th August 2007 @ 11:12:02 AM AEST
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Info | Send
a Message)
|
Jesus, that was damn powerful. I want to say so much more, but words elude me at this moment. You have described the loss so well, too well. I felt at first the rhyming seemed excessive and then I thought, hell no, this fits so well into the whole feeling. Deep, emotional write. Well done.
Peace and hugs,
Laura |
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Re: Our Relationship
(User Rating: 1 )
by inlovewithaladd on
Sunday, 19th August 2007 @ 12:19:42 AM AEST
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a Message)
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| i, too, had problems with the random and overdone rhyming, but was sucked in by the moments of brilliance. this is a powerful and convincing piece. |
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Re: Our Relationship
(User Rating: 1 )
by Former_Member on
Sunday, 19th August 2007 @ 07:08:04 AM AEST
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a Message)
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| this is a very expressive write.and leaving that aside,im going through the same,this moved emotions in me again,i feel you. |
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