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Porcelain Doll
Contributed by
xxx_lover
on
Thursday, 16th August 2007 @ 12:21:07 PM in AEST
Topic:
oops
|
She lives as a princess,
never lifting a finger.
She sits on her pillow waiting
for master to take her care.
She sits there, with her
thick flowing hair,
large glossy eyes with curled lashes,
soft peach lips, and
tiny turned up nose, and
she looks down upon the others.
Perched up so high
as if on display,
she has no other choice.
This reclusive mistress looks
down over their playtime,
their games of dress up.
As giggles pierce the stale air,
she ponders what it must be like,
to truely laugh.
While she lives all alone,
they live together in a large group.
It may not be comfortable,
the way they live,
they way they sleep,
but it can't be lonely.
The others are so lively,
full of energy and movement.
She lives constricted.
Confined to small inchings.
No one ever invites
Miss High and Mighty to play.
Children wont come near,
she is far too fragile,
they have been told.
The quiet soletude is all
that she has left.
The loneliness drives her nearer
and nearer the edge.
All she can do is sit and wait
for that day that she will be
moved back into the light,
back where she was when
she first arrived.
The longer she waits,
the more painfull happiness
she is forced to witness.
The dolls below, many of
them missing a limb,
were still happy despite
all of their ailments.
Each day that she watches,
she moves closer and closer to
the edge of the shelf untill
the day that she fell,
toppled down to the hardwood.
Though it seems such a
horrible feat, the dolls
below swear that they heard a
slight chuckle as the porcelain
danced across the floor.
Copyright ©
xxx_lover
... [
2007-08-16 12:21:07]
(Date/Time posted on
site)
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Re: Porcelain Doll
(User Rating: 1 )
by deadheadpoet on
Thursday, 16th August 2007 @ 05:24:24 PM AEST
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a Message)
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Wow. This was fantastic. I loved this story. Thank you so much for sharing. It really was wonderful to read.
Peace,
Laura |
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Re: Porcelain Doll
(User Rating: 1 )
by Torn_Thomas on
Thursday, 16th August 2007 @ 08:01:10 PM AEST
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| Very nice, i really enjoyed it. |
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Re: Porcelain Doll
(User Rating: 1 )
by Nazmythian on
Friday, 17th August 2007 @ 03:34:58 PM AEST
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a Message)
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I am certainly not the bestest of critics, but I'll say this... for a first post and entry into the YPDC site, it is stong enough to make me want to see what else will pour from your pen.
There is early repitition that doesn't seem like it needs be there, and towards the end you alter tense ... it detracts slightly from what otherwise is a fabulous poem.
I did note a spelling error ( solitude ), I wish I could count on one hand the times I have been guilty of the same... but I can't.
A fine first post. Welcome to YPDC !!!
I think I'll be back to check on you from time to time.
Nazmythian ~
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