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Final over you
Contributed by
whiskybear
on
Monday, 13th August 2007 @ 12:00:02 PM in AEST
Topic:
LovePoetry
|
Laying on the sizzling sand
I look into his piercing green eyes
As the sun shines in the back ground
He slowly moves in to steal a kiss
When his lips touched mine
I melted into the sand
His hand slowly moves down my leg
My heart is racing with every touch
With every kiss he slowly
takes off my clothes
He looks at me again with those eyes
Asking me "are you sure"
I don't say a word
I just looked at him... And smile
He starts to remove his clothes
As he enters I think
to myself for a minute
I have final gotten over YOU
Copyright ©
whiskybear
... [
2007-08-13 12:00:02] (Date/Time posted on
site)
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Re: Final over you
(User Rating: 1 ) by Former_Member on
Tuesday, 14th August 2007 @ 04:09:18 AM AEST (User
Info | Send
a Message)
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this wasn't quite what i expected - but it was still great!
i love it, all until the last 3-or-so lines. it almost...doesn't make sense. but i really loved the great description in all the rest. the end just seemed a bit, sudden. like it doesn't fit.
nice write though!
- Bethani - |
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