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I Am

Contributed by deadheadpoet on Friday, 10th August 2007 @ 04:21:54 AM in AEST
Topic: anguished




I love him so
But the damage is astronomical
Cataclysmic to my being
Trying to forgive
I am
It is one of the hardest feats
I've had to deal with
And I've more than a
Few blows to this
Heart of compassion

Oh...
This was so needless
So unnecessary to do
How could one be so loving
Mindless and cunning
I am
Beating myself so hard
Against this wall of walls
Blood pours from wounds
And I feel so weakened
By you

Hard it is to try
To believe in someone
Who lived so many lies
Blues eyes that smiled
I am
Feeling hardened and cold
Warm and unhealthy
Torn by tumultuous feelings
Up and down
The storm rages

Today I cry
Days before smiled
Feelings of dread
Like cancerous fingers
I am
Confused and alone
Tears sting my skin
Acidic lacrimation
Burns my smile
I want to run

In the wee hours of morn
Time seems to weigh the most
Figures writhe from the black
Dancing Haunting
I am
Looking at pictures
Saddened by the thoughts
My smile was untarnished
Love and light emitted like sparks
And you...I never knew...




8-9-07
Laura Howell Horner




Copyright © deadheadpoet ... [ 2007-08-10 04:21:54]
(Date/Time posted on site)





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Re: I Am (User Rating: 1 )
by Adreana on Friday, 10th August 2007 @ 04:32:12 AM AEST
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Beautifully sad. Love it.


Re: I Am (User Rating: 1 )
by fadingaway on Friday, 10th August 2007 @ 05:25:38 AM AEST
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"love and light emitted like sparks"
I love that line. great write, sad
but beautiful in it's own way.
milo


Re: I Am (User Rating: 1 )
by myheartsvoice on Friday, 10th August 2007 @ 05:27:28 AM AEST
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Trying to forgive I am It is one of the hardest feats . . . this line is more than awsome it's your answer because women may forgive but they don't 4get in which terms actually mean they haven't gotten over enough to confirm the forgiveness and so in which case nothing is resolved and rightly so, in plain english, we live we learn we even burn,
perhaps the price we pay 4 playing with fire .

(((((((((((((((Peace and a slow healing 2u my Sister Laura, wish you the best)))))))))))))))))

your Hippie Bro Ben . . .


Re: I Am (User Rating: 1 )
by PhantomVampyress on Friday, 10th August 2007 @ 06:43:47 AM AEST
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this is so tragically touching and heartfelt. so passionately sad.. this made me cry as i read it.. this is beautiful yet so sad.. very eloquently written..

rock on,
vampyress Jenni


Re: I Am (User Rating: 1 )
by endlesspath on Friday, 10th August 2007 @ 07:34:10 AM AEST
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the picture did it in for me, the single tear of one and knowing that its not fair . but hey we all know the infamous saying life is not fair.




endless


Re: I Am (User Rating: 1 )
by Whisper on Saturday, 11th August 2007 @ 05:49:44 AM AEST
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That is so how I was feeling. Totally uncanny how you have captured my very thought and feelings about a lost lingering love. Excellent write.

Whisper


Re: I Am (User Rating: 1 )
by GemmaLouiseRose on Saturday, 11th August 2007 @ 05:57:24 AM AEST
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i love ur style xx


Re: I Am (User Rating: 1 )
by Former_Member on Sunday, 12th August 2007 @ 12:11:49 AM AEST
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Oh my, hun ... if a poem could weep, this one certainly is.
There is indescribable loneliness in this. Not in the sense
that you are without company, but in the sense that you
are alone. Even when surrounded. It's heartbreaking, sis.

But ... there is hope. There is a polish that can make that
smile sparkle again. You KNOW there is ... though I know
it's easier to embrace it when sitting on the side. Sweets,
the fact that you are able to write this down; to process
your pain and work through it, is going to help you immensely!

The piece was terribly sad. Your words can always capture
the emotion of the moment ... regardless of what that
particular emotion might be. Bravo, dear poet. Thank
you for allowing us to see so much of your heart. ♥

love and peace, always ~

~MG


Re: I Am (User Rating: 1 )
by reprobate on Tuesday, 14th August 2007 @ 07:12:42 AM AEST
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There is the ultimate question -- do we really ever 'know' somebody?
The ugliness that the heart must endure is unfathomable, but unfortunately, it must be endured to truly appreciate the beauty that can be experienced.
Another good read, dear lady!
thanks for sharing...


Re: I Am (User Rating: 1 )
by Former_Member on Thursday, 13th September 2007 @ 06:22:29 AM AEST
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Why is it that some of the most beautiful writes always seem to come from the source of greatest pain?
I am sorry for your pain....but dang! what a write!




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