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All My Senses
Contributed by
midnightwriter
on
Thursday, 9th August 2007 @ 01:01:40 PM in AEST
Topic:
spiritual
|
I知 feeling inspiration wash over me like an ocean痴 wave.
My life is good I say to the mirror while I shave.
I can talk to all the pretty women, and they will talk right back to me without fear.
Yet their words fade as my attention turns to the ringing in my ear.
And
All my senses are fading away. I can barely hear your voice anymore. God guide me because I知 loosing you in this darkness and all I'm feeling is a closed door.
Everything is wrong, and I知 still looking for the right in my life.
I am young and so is the night, for now. Yet, I foresee an old man sitting in his chair alone without ever loving, even still wondering how?
Another scene fades in and I知 slow dancing with a sexy girl giving me bedroom eyes. I make excuses because many other men have cheated on their wives.
My eyes advert away into space for in this moment I begin to loose my taste
And
All my senses are fading away. I can barely hear your voice anymore. God guide me because I知 loosing you in this darkness and all I'm feeling is a closed door.
My world is dark, empty, and now even pleasure I cannot taste! I fall to the ground, for what is the use of going on. Without my senses I will surely fall into a land of waste.
Take this empty heart of mine and fill it up I pray. As the words leave my lips I feel a tender touch and I knew this love was here to stay.
Pulling me up I felt Him lead me away. I知 walking now and no longer afraid, hand in hand we can finish this going all the way.
All my human senses lied to me, except for one. My heart was blind and that痴 the reason my eyes couldn稚 see. I値l make it through this life because on that night I sensed He touched me.
Copyright ﾂｩ
midnightwriter
... [
2007-08-09 13:01:40]
(Date/Time posted on
site)
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Re: All My Senses
(User Rating: 1 )
by sadaddy on
Thursday, 9th August 2007 @ 01:49:59 PM AEST
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a Message)
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This is wonderfully penned and a enjoyable read, thank you for sharing it with us. May your heart continue to be filled with peace and joy each and everyday.
sadaddy |
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Re: All My Senses
(User Rating: 1 )
by shelby on
Thursday, 9th August 2007 @ 03:20:28 PM AEST
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THis is a fabulous write.. splashed with emotion that is what makes a poem poetry to me the song of the soul the dance of the heart.
Michelle |
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Re: All My Senses
(User Rating: 1 )
by Fionndruinne on
Thursday, 9th August 2007 @ 03:55:51 PM AEST
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The downbeat and the upbeat are intertwined very well here. A poignant, spiritual and true portrayal of the pull between Heaven and the world.
One thing you might try for, stylistically, is shorter line length - not that short lines need to rhyme, and all that, but flow can be achieved in the top-to-bottom movement of the words in the body, plus line breaks at interesting times can yield new meanings you might not even have expected. Keep it up.
Andrew |
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