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a gentle face

Contributed by shadow on Tuesday, 7th August 2007 @ 04:38:35 PM in AEST
Topic: limericks



I call to the light, flashing before my eyes
I dream of a sweet angel no one else can see
through the mist, dreams reminisced
I’ve forgotten what paradise is like

call to me,
send your grace
let me see one last time
that gentle face that I called mine

Through these empty halls I pace
my foot steps echos shattering the silence
The shadows remind me it’s not a dream
as I fall to my knees wondering why

Sacrifice, my daily shame
blaspheme is my name
Crying out who’s to blame
my echo answers my own question

call to me
send your grace
let me see one last time
the gentle face that I called mine

In these empty halls I fall
amongst it’s stone I find my place
a dream that died way to young
in the solon silence of a forgotten son

Call to the darkness flashing before my eyes
I dream of an angel no one else can see
though the haze, dreams long faded
I’ve forgotten what paradise even is

call to me
send your grace
let me see one last time
the gentle face that I called mine




Copyright © shadow ... [ 2007-08-07 16:38:35]
(Date/Time posted on site)





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Re: a gentle face (User Rating: 1 )
by trini on Wednesday, 8th August 2007 @ 01:42:17 AM AEST
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Your emotions are depicted very well here.
The rhyming was a bit everywhere
seemed to distract from the poem.
Overall an enjoyable read,
Keep posting
-Trini


Re: a gentle face (User Rating: 1 )
by Elipsis on Wednesday, 20th May 2009 @ 09:48:38 AM AEST
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I really enjoyed this one... Good choice of words and the sentence positioning made sure that I too felt that anxious need to see the gentle face :)


Re: a gentle face (User Rating: 1 )
by deusdeira on Tuesday, 30th November 2010 @ 12:24:44 AM AEST
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I really loved this poem. It made me miss someone. Great job portraying a feeling of loss.




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