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Time's Up
Contributed by
PoeticHybrid
on
Saturday, 4th August 2007 @ 04:00:28 PM in AEST
Topic:
abstract
|
Up and down goes my flying mind
Eventually leaving me behind
It zooms across a starless sky
Off in the distance, my soul starts to cry
Mindlessly wondering from day to day
Watching my colors fade to gray
Leaving nothing there shiney and bright
With nothing to reflect from, then goes the light
Thoughtlessly spewing random rhymes
Just trying to pass the times
Of this pointless life
While my veins cry from the knife
Even gray starts to run
As I learn it can't be undone
Crimson tears fall adding color to the black and white
Of this suicide note I write...
Copyright ©
PoeticHybrid
... [
2007-08-04 16:00:28]
(Date/Time posted on
site)
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Re: Time's Up
(User Rating: 1 )
by sicknivesevered on
Saturday, 4th August 2007 @ 09:15:08 PM AEST
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a Message)
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| Many poets have wrote about "colors fade to gray", but then you added that the "gray starts to run". I thought that was a really cool twist to a stale line. The first stanza tickled my fancy as well. |
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Re: Time's Up
(User Rating: 1 )
by Puppy_dog_eyes on
Saturday, 4th August 2007 @ 10:26:38 PM AEST
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I think everyone has those kind of days.The mind is a complex thing, sometimes it finds its own release to be able to put back order again.
Steve |
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Re: Time's Up
(User Rating: 1 )
by Former_Member on
Saturday, 4th August 2007 @ 11:43:46 PM AEST
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a Message)
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| Your poem really captured how that feels...good write, kudos |
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Re: Time's Up
(User Rating: 1 )
by endlesspath on
Monday, 6th August 2007 @ 11:26:14 PM AEST
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a Message)
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times never up , just stopped or left where it was not suppose to be. do not give up, there is always time for something. good post
endless |
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