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Broken Ship
Contributed by
TheLostPuppet
on
Wednesday, 1st August 2007 @ 07:17:31 PM in AEST
Topic:
oops
|
Proud to be aboard this ship
We sail through with this broken mast
All these winds seem to calm
The rain slowly stops
We fight our way through
Hold up our own through this storm
We lost some people
Got a few scrapes
Have a few broken parts
We can still hold up on our own
There’s still many more storms to cross
But we can repair ourselves and prepare ourselves
Along the way
Copyright ©
TheLostPuppet
... [
2007-08-01 19:17:31]
(Date/Time posted on
site)
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Re: Broken Ship
(User Rating: 1 )
by Former_Member on
Thursday, 2nd August 2007 @ 12:19:48 AM AEST
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a Message)
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Raging storms, banding together, seeing it through to
sunnier days ... hmmmm ... sounds like life, no?
The metaphor here is outstanding and the hope
floating within the words is heart warming. Truly.
Great post.
~Breezy
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Re: Broken Ship
(User Rating: 1 )
by Former_Member on
Thursday, 2nd August 2007 @ 05:28:19 AM AEST
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The idea is sound. I too like the meatphor.
I do have some trouble with the shifts back and forth between past and present. But I like the sense of pride and strength! |
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Re: Broken Ship
(User Rating: 1 )
by inlovewithaladd on
Thursday, 2nd August 2007 @ 02:02:42 PM AEST
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| not as artistic as i like my poems, but i can feel your emotion. pretty good piece |
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Re: Broken Ship
(User Rating: 1 )
by emystar on
Wednesday, 5th March 2008 @ 05:36:52 PM AEST
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I like it as is. It's a very powerfull write.
huggs,
emy |
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Re: Broken Ship
(User Rating: 1 )
by RitalinKid on
Tuesday, 25th November 2008 @ 06:20:54 PM AEST
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| After reading your work, I can see why you didn't follow my piece. You are clearly more open. But the simplicity of Broken Ship is actually very peaceful. Cheers |
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Re: Broken Ship
(User Rating: 1 )
by razorbladekisses on
Wednesday, 18th March 2009 @ 01:16:19 AM AEST
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a Message)
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I enjoyed this one.
I love the hope you give in the end.
Great job. |
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