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Breaking the Fence
Contributed by
xXdeadXpoetXx
on
Sunday, 29th July 2007 @ 06:19:30 AM in AEST
Topic:
EmotionalPoetry
|
My head is getting clouded
My mind corrupt with pain
The windows began ringing
From unrelentless rain
Daddy has pneumonia
Mommy's never home
And sis is just a year apart,
But far apart we've grown
I'm not the least unpopular
But what's the point in friends
When you only have a couple
Who bother letting in?
And there's this guy I've known a while
He's unique in every way
He's my best of the best of friends
But wanting to be gay
I'm not against at all though
He just seems to grow apart
Cause it's not emotion baggage
That's tearing at his heart
Seems it's just the physical
Needing to take hold
It's bugging me, nudging me
But how to break this mold?
I miss the life I had before
The friendships and the laugh
Take the first six letters off
My ship has seemed to crash
So here I am and spotless
A book without a line
Is there anything good thats out there
That can take back all this time?
Seems I've hit a fence now
A barrier I can't break
I've given it my best shot
That's all this fence will take
I rear my back and push hard
And run against the wall
I watch the chicken wire
Hit it's final fall
It seems a breath of fresh air
Has lifted off my chest
It seems this dance is pulling
And I got all the steps
Maybe things get better
Than the worst that they may seem
Or maybe all the hoping
Is just a pointless dream
Copyright ©
xXdeadXpoetXx
... [
2007-07-29 06:19:30]
(Date/Time posted on
site)
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Re: Breaking the Fence
(User Rating: 1 )
by AnenaLynne on
Sunday, 29th July 2007 @ 10:37:55 AM AEST
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a Message)
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really really good and with a nice flow!
~nena |
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Re: Breaking the Fence
(User Rating: 1 )
by allidoiswrite82 on
Sunday, 29th July 2007 @ 11:11:01 AM AEST
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a Message)
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This is a good piece but if you would like some critique I think that you should replace your line breaks I am learning that breaks mean more then just another line
(I miss the life I had before
The friendships and the laugh
Take the first six letters off
My ship has seemed to crash) Love this part !!!!
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Re: Breaking the Fence
(User Rating: 1 )
by Essentially9 on
Monday, 30th July 2007 @ 03:09:24 PM AEST
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a Message)
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| i liked all of the opposing thoughts going into this, like being so popular, but not having many really friends, things getting better or just a pointless dream, not being able to break a barrier when you really can, etc. |
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