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something within gives me courage

Contributed by ZforZachariah on Saturday, 28th July 2007 @ 05:55:44 AM in AEST
Topic: dedicatedpoems

the childhood abuse i suffered from kids that were mean to me
made me always introspective and scared to meet new people
my kind nature and quiet manner worsened the situation
it made me uncomfortable in social situations
afraid that i will be verbally or physically abused by other mean people
it happened again in my first year in college, depression set in

yet something lurks within me

a friend of mine is abusive to me
and i took alot of junk from him
i felt trapped because i wanted revenge
yet my kind nature forbade that
depression set in, i felt stupid and weak

yet something lurks within me

temptation and negativity surrounds me
messing up my grades by telling me to play and be lazy
letting me eat junk foods and making me fat
decreasing my confidence in myself
making me unable to talk to girls
realization that i was slower than others and generally lazier
despaired because of my poor communication skills and accent

yet something lurks within me

i tried to find this thing within me that i know is powerful
i felt that it is a silver bullet, and when i find it, all will be well
my fruitless search lasted a better part of a decade
depressed i am, i felt weak and fearful

yet it still lurks within me

one day i finally took a step and faced that darkness within me
i faced it, i persisted, i did not move, and gradually it dissipated
my own will proved successful

a deeper conscious guides me in my decisions in everyday life
i know what a should do most of the time
if i do not know, i look deep within myself, and i make the correct decsion
every decsion i make, every second that passes moves me closer to my destiny

yes it takes enourmous courage to follow through on some of the decisions
but that's life, that's life, that's life, that's life
eventually i feel a little more powerful
being able to apply my will gracefully

i hoped it helped someone, thank you

Copyright © ZforZachariah ... [ 2007-07-28 05:55:44]
(Date/Time posted on site)

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Re: something within gives me courage (User Rating: 1 )
by emystar on Saturday, 28th July 2007 @ 12:40:00 PM AEST
(User Info | Send a Message)

Good for you. Good work.
Big huggs,
emy

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