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Exception
Contributed by
crow
on
Tuesday, 24th July 2007 @ 04:58:39 AM in AEST
Topic:
Lifepoems
|
Here under the moonlight,
by this Cinnamon scent candle-light
this tired back porch
I write..
We all hear
so many end up the same..
Every encounter perilous
reasonable thoughts
on jagged streets.
[the encounter]
Winters are no more bitter"
but fall weighted, and yellowed.
The breath is shallow,
it has lived to much.
Accumulation of memories
missed dirt in furrow's
of aging skin,
its seems I have come to join"
just me, this ragged breath..
Tonight the fire
is no more giving,
brings Me here
among peeling paint
sweet taste of Port"
I died, and was born here
after the mutiny..
but life still leaves me
its graves to rob"
I am no more than my night will
produce..but exception to the next human"
a gnarled hand was offered....it pleased Me.
[I walked away in thought..
if there is a God"..protect this man] Vincent
Copyright ©
crow
... [
2007-07-24 04:58:39]
(Date/Time posted on
site)
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Re: Exception
(User Rating: 1 )
by NDean on
Tuesday, 24th July 2007 @ 05:24:18 AM AEST
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a Message)
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SO ORIGINAL... to tell you the truth I was doubtful at the start the poem became better the more into it I got... amazing.
I love the bits in brackets. Very original.
Nathan |
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Re: Exception
(User Rating: 1 )
by ladyfawn on
Tuesday, 24th July 2007 @ 05:38:39 AM AEST
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this is fabulous vincent, i love how you did this! port and moonlight...... excellent write of inner reflections,
hugs n' love nessa |
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Re: Exception
(User Rating: 1 )
by shelby on
Tuesday, 24th July 2007 @ 05:54:30 AM AEST
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My friend I cannot pick a favorite line as this entire write is full of perfectly engraved images and descriptive thoughts..... Love the smell of that candle too.
loves ya
Michelle |
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Re: Exception
(User Rating: 1 )
by deadheadpoet on
Tuesday, 24th July 2007 @ 08:59:36 AM AEST
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Amazing write. It felt jerky and a bit uneven, as life does. There were so many lines that just touched a nerve in me...
"Here under the moonlight,
by this Cinnamon scent candle-light
this tired back porch
I write.."
and this...
"The breath is shallow,
it has lived to much."
If I keep putting down my favorite lines, I'd be copying down the entire piece. I love your style, my friend. I love how this makes one feel close to you...I can almost hear you breathe....
Much peace, love and hugs,
Me
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Re: Exception
(User Rating: 1 )
by PhantomVampyress on
Tuesday, 24th July 2007 @ 09:22:54 AM AEST
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this is erie and truthful.. well expressed. I absolutely loved the flow and wording.. excellent!!
rock on,
vampyress Jenni |
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Re: Exception
(User Rating: 1 )
by NoSaint on
Tuesday, 24th July 2007 @ 10:11:51 AM AEST
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wonderful
Shari |
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Re: Exception
(User Rating: 1 )
by brew on
Tuesday, 24th July 2007 @ 12:40:34 PM AEST
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simple and breath -taking......all i can do is.....nothing.Im speechelss......I have to sit and think before I may type.......Out done thy self......
Brew~ |
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Re: Exception
(User Rating: 1 )
by Former_Member on
Monday, 30th July 2007 @ 10:01:47 AM AEST
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Holy heck Vincent!! What an opening stanza! Dripping with poetic exception my friend. ;)
Your writes are always a delightful and artful dish, brimming over with imagination and uniqueness. I
never tire of your use of language or your original execution of thought. There is a question drifting
(though I don't think it's aimlessly), throughout your words. A question that, if asked, could gravitate a
falling star. It's that potent!
Brilliant work, my friend. Originality should be your middle name ~
~Breezy |
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