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its 2am on a Saturday night
Contributed by
jyssvw22
on
Sunday, 8th July 2007 @ 04:10:38 PM in AEST
Topic:
oops
|
Keep me in the company of a perfect pretty stranger,
not one word is uttered.
we just sit
I write, she reads
I wish to be in her thoughts
she is thoughtful, to mind her space
the distance is unbearable
closer I inch,
further my depression sinks
The wind is peaceful
the summer mild
with a touch of sunshine and a hint of threatening rain
I beg it to pour-
I can take the silence no more
She speaks!
Her voice is soothing with a pristine pitch
She whispers
He secrets intrigue me
Her affect is calm
I search for something relevant
or in the least bit interesting to spark her curiosity
Nothing ignites
I stammer, fumble my speech
Make slow eye contact
Then retreat
Look away
I live to let love die another day
_____________
________________
Copyright ©
jyssvw22
... [
2007-07-08 16:10:38]
(Date/Time posted on
site)
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Re: its 2am on a Saturday night
(User Rating: 1 )
by Former_Member on
Monday, 9th July 2007 @ 03:09:10 AM AEST
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a Message)
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Jyss, it’s nice to see you back and that
you haven’t lost the ability to bombard
the mind with thought and the heart with
emotion. There is a certain ambiguity
about this piece, (or maybe it’s just the
quiet of Sunday morning that has me
deep in thought). Either way, I can’t
place why but somehow I feel for the
writer. As if there is something he wishes,
but cannot see to find it regardless
of the attempts made to gain it’s secrets;
it’s power. It imparts a sadness that is
gripping.
This is exceptional work, my friend.
~Breezy
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Re: its 2am on a Saturday night
(User Rating: 1 )
by deadheadpoet on
Monday, 9th July 2007 @ 06:12:22 AM AEST
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a Message)
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I"m with Breezy, good to see you around, and it is always a pleasure to see what treasure you have bestowed upon us. You wrote this so well, I felt as if I was in the room, and it seemed cramped. I felt the need to go out and get some air...take a big breath. The ending lines were so sad, so final....like you've just given up on yourself. Dammit love sucks sometimes. Great write that had me doing loads of thinking.
Peace and hugs,
Laura |
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Re: its 2am on a Saturday night
(User Rating: 1 )
by sona on
Monday, 9th July 2007 @ 07:49:40 AM AEST
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Wow what an end
And what a beginning
Masterpiece!!!
I am new to this site and this is one of the best poems i've gone through
My regards
Kainat |
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Re: its 2am on a Saturday night
(User Rating: 1 )
by jackson21 on
Tuesday, 10th July 2007 @ 02:43:28 PM AEST
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You gave me the giggles, not because it was funny, but because it brought back so many memories of those unforgettible moments in peoples lives that they take for granted! Your poem brought back images that i had long forgotten, so i thank you for bringing me back that moment! Truly wonderous work, dont ever stop writing because you are truly talented!
Jack! |
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Re: its 2am on a Saturday night
(User Rating: 1 )
by hauntedscorp on
Sunday, 5th August 2007 @ 01:07:31 PM AEST
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That sounds like it was the loneliest night ever... :(
You certainly aren't writing as much jyss... Saddens me to see that, but who am I to talk?
I believe it was just your b-day too, no? Happy belated my friend. I hope it was great...
I'm a pm away Doc... sometimes I give good advice... :)
~Scorp. |
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