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What Is Love?

Contributed by Pepe on Wednesday, 20th June 2007 @ 08:13:58 AM in AEST
Topic: oops



What is love?

Love is a mysterious thing that comes to you when you feel something for that person and it could work both ways ether I could make you a happy person but sometimes it could break your hearth and be a unhappy person and be really sad but a person needs the love of another person caused is that warm feeling you feel when you kiss that person you love, but it could hurt you, so should a person love or just stay that way and evade being hurt by a person which probably does not like you that way, that’s why love is mysterious or is it?




Copyright © Pepe ... [ 2007-06-20 08:13:58]
(Date/Time posted on site)





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Re: What Is Love? (User Rating: 1 )
by allforyou on Wednesday, 20th June 2007 @ 09:09:57 AM AEST
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I like all the ideas you present (esp. the part about should you not try to find love and avoid being hurt), but I think you need to work on the structure of your writing.

Poetry doesn't need to rhyme as you know, but writing in stanzas might make it more appealing for the reader, and just make it look more like a poem instead of a story or a really long question.

I'm not trying to dissuade you!!! So please don't take my criticism the wrong way. I absolutely love this piece. Keep writing.

Oh and welcome to yourpoetry.com,

Kara




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