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Memory?

Contributed by Thespia on Monday, 18th June 2007 @ 10:55:39 AM in AEST
Topic: secrets



Did it happen?
I don’t remember too well
My mind blocked it out
I was just a little girl!


A memory has now returned
Or was it just a dream?
I’m so confused, it felt so real
I wish that I could scream!


There’s no one I can truly be sure
Will keep my secret hidden
I have friends and family dear to me
But trust none within them


The re-occurring nightmare
Of his hands groping over me
Wakes me in the dead of night
Trembling and unable to breathe


I’ve never blamed my mum
She had no idea and I didn’t let on
Still, when I needed her most, she didn’t see
His fake loving smile, what a con!


At the time I was too innocent
And did not understand
Why he was touching and stroking
With his one free hand


I think I remember his sister
Standing over us on the bed
Smiling, laughing and cheering him on
Why didn’t she stop and help me instead?


Everyday now I feel ashamed
I scrub my skin raw in the shower
But still can’t escape this feeling
That I’m dieing a little more every hour


Was it real or just a dream?
Even I’m still not sure
My hearts been closed ever since
I don’t want anyone touching me anymore


I wish I could have a normal life
But I can’t trust my own mind
One thing I know, ill never tell anyone,
No-matter how sweet or kind


One piece of advice ill give
Straight from me to you
Never trust a man
Or worse than what befell me,
Could easily happen to you!





Copyright © Thespia ... [ 2007-06-18 10:55:39]
(Date/Time posted on site)





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Re: Memory? (User Rating: 1 )
by emystar on Monday, 18th June 2007 @ 11:20:03 AM AEST
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Heart wrenching but great writing.
I was molested by an uncle at a very young age and blocked it out untill i was 50 so I know the feelings. I remembered watching him rape my sister but totally blocked it out about me.
He blew his own brains out years ago.
I know how hard it is to trust men but they aren't responsible for what happened.
I forgave him even tho he's dead but I had to forgive to find myself.
Always remember it wasn't your fault.
Every day when you look in the mirror tell yourself, I know I'm sombody 'cause God don't make junk.
I'll remember you in my prayers.
Big luv, huggs, prayers,
emy


Re: Memory? (User Rating: 1 )
by rainny14 on Monday, 18th June 2007 @ 12:08:43 PM AEST
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I remember it happening to me when i was at a young age , it was my 2 brothers that used to do horrible things to me and they raped me before i was 10yrs old . I have only told 1 person in my life and that is a friend i have become to trust , I told my mum and she kept telling me to stop lieing so what hope has anyone got . very touching


Re: Memory? (User Rating: 1 )
by Mama508 on Thursday, 25th October 2007 @ 05:57:19 AM AEST
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That's really deep and heartfelt...
It's a scary and terrifying feeling...
I hope that you get through it and find someone that you can trust... I know it's hard...
They say that time heals all wounds but in reality you just learn how to cope...
I hope you are okay...




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