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Chasing Rainbows I'll Never Touch
Contributed by
alasdaircairns
on
Saturday, 16th June 2007 @ 07:40:45 AM in AEST
Topic:
EmotionalPoetry
|
Scratched away from summer's rich sheen,
As memories fade to loser's dreams,
Walking paths I no longer know,
These yellow bricks have nowhere to go.
Ripped apart by fearful thought,
Disregarding those scenes I sought,
Chasing rainbows I'll never touch,
Praying it won't hurt too much.
Edging away from bottomless brinks,
Solace in bottles and glasses of drink,
Making u-turns based on blind fear,
Repeating old cycles for months and for years.
Running away from such beautiful things,
In case it leads me to think of rings,
Using excuses that just won't do,
Losing my trust in all that is true...
Copyright ©
alasdaircairns
... [
2007-06-16 07:40:45]
(Date/Time posted on
site)
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Re: Chasing Rainbows I'll Never Touch
(User Rating: 1 )
by Former_Member on
Saturday, 16th June 2007 @ 08:35:51 AM AEST
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I usually don't like rhyming poetry but I really like this poem a lot. The rhyme’s scheme didn’t get in the way and wasn’t too sing songy, which is a mistake a lot of poets make. I will say it was a simplistic rhyme scheme and I’d encourage you to omit the rhyming or choose a different scheme in your next poem. Over all it was lovely!
~D.S. Hammoulton~
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Re: Chasing Rainbows I'll Never Touch
(User Rating: 1 )
by Former_Member on
Saturday, 16th June 2007 @ 10:50:37 AM AEST
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And I encourage you to keep writing. Formatting is not essential to the art of passion through language. This was a well done work. DS has the passion of a grapefruit sweet and quickly bland. You can see it in his comments. DS is the kind of poet who follows structure and is about as feeling as a fruit fly in a desert. This was a good work and I would encourage you to just simply keep writing.
BRAVO!
SCM
P.S. - DS is a good poet if you aren't sure yourself just ask him. |
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Re: Chasing Rainbows I'll Never Touch
(User Rating: 1 )
by lillyjane on
Saturday, 16th June 2007 @ 08:22:52 PM AEST
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Brilliant poem I can relate to it,
Chasing rainbows I'll never touch,
Praying it won't hurt too much.
sounds so much like me lol. xxxxx |
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Re: Chasing Rainbows I'll Never Touch
(User Rating: 1 )
by Dom on
Saturday, 16th June 2007 @ 11:42:31 PM AEST
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I loved this read, particularly the images in the first stanza. I thought the rhyme shceme was fine, there is so much emotion and description in this poem that it doesn't bother me one way or the other.
Beautiful, I will make an effort to read more of your work,
Take care,
Dom |
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Re: Chasing Rainbows I'll Never Touch
(User Rating: 1 )
by child_superstar18 on
Sunday, 17th June 2007 @ 12:11:58 AM AEST
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| I think ur poem is amazing and it really means a lot to me now . i really understand how it feels like u will never reach ur goal in life and no matter how hard u try it will always hurt inside when u dont succeed. plz read my poem over and done and leave a comment and tell me wat u think! |
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Re: Chasing Rainbows I'll Never Touch
(User Rating: 1 )
by Oceandreamer on
Sunday, 17th June 2007 @ 07:36:15 AM AEST
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| This is such a beautiful and touching write.I don't have words...it's just "sooo" beautiful. ~~Oceandreamer~~ |
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Re: Chasing Rainbows I'll Never Touch
(User Rating: 1 )
by ladyfawn on
Sunday, 17th June 2007 @ 07:24:27 PM AEST
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beautifully sad, perfectly written:)
love n' hugs nessa
roses |
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