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i can't keep doing this to myself

Contributed by desolantdreamer on Friday, 15th June 2007 @ 08:13:38 AM in AEST
Topic: EmotionalPoetry

I can't just be his friend anymore

Of course we aren't even that

But just being near him is enough

To convince me this is too tough

I can't be close to him anymore

It's just too hard, he's just too far

I know it's been 8 years. I know I say I'm over it

But still, I can't help but cry

I really did try

But I have to give up

And realize I'm outta luck

Silly girl...foolish girl...

I should have known I couldn't do it

Why? Why did I put myself through it?

I'm standing all alone

With no one I can call my own

I am watching him so fondly

I remember some silly flashbacks

And the tears start coming back

So close...I was so close...

I just wasn't good enough...

Not for him, and not for you...

He does those little things

That make me forget I can't love you

And cause this heartache all over again.

I'm over you, I truely am

I've moved on to another man

Yet still you make me hurt

Being close to you is poison

Every little thing you do,

Makes me want to be with you

Don't you understand what you're doing to me?

I know you don't mean to

I know you don't intend to

But you affect me...

In a way I don't want you to.

It hurts me...like poking your bruises...

You being near, only pushes on the bruise you left on my heart.

I tried so hard to deal with the pain

And stay your friend...more or less

But I see now, you don't want that either...

And It's too painful for me.

Let's just say we tried and move on

It's better than this anyday

I wish I could get rid of the memories

Make myself believe the lies I tell myself

Say the past never happened, and that all the pain is just a dream

But then I see you and I can't deny

I felt that way, I feel that way

I wish I could just make it go away

This pain I feel is so intense, I just can't stop it

I lie to myself every day, saying 'you're over him, its okay!'

But it isn't okay, you're still here, still you...

You cannot change, I don't want you to

But I can't change either, don't ask me to

I like who I like, and who I like is you

I know, it bugs me too

Just be happy you're your character

Because you don't feel the pain

You don't feel the hurt

But I'd rather it be me bearing it, any day...

Because I don't want any hurt to befall you.

Copyright © desolantdreamer ... [ 2007-06-15 08:13:38]
(Date/Time posted on site)

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