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Maybe Tomorrow
Contributed by
needledancing
on
Friday, 15th June 2007 @ 06:19:58 AM in AEST
Topic:
ChildrensPoetry
|
I'll have time later to get that job done,
I've been asked to go fishin, so much more fun!
New waiters to wear and the fish are now bitting,
Please Ma can I go? I'm wastin time fighting.
Oh yes I'll remember to cut grass tomorrow.
Yet the lawnmowers broke, so whos should I borrow?
I meant to explain how that happened last week.
I mention it to Tommy while down at the creek.
Can't say why I got 54%,
No I can't recall how much change I spent.
Silly that I'm late every night now for dinner.
Coach said just practice, that'll make me a winner.
It's hard to be helping all the time when I'm busy.
Mom seems really frazzled, she's having her "Tissy."
Maybe tomorrow I can get her calmed down.
I'll stay home and help her and then head to town.
Copyright ©
needledancing
... [
2007-06-15 06:19:58]
(Date/Time posted on
site)
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Re: Maybe Tomorrow
(User Rating: 1 )
by Former_Member on
Friday, 15th June 2007 @ 06:32:05 AM AEST
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It doesn't matter what the topic you can write it. I found myself smiling in the last stanza. An enjoyable write ND! A good exercise in writing from a child's mind. Comforting and playful. The pressures of child hood......ohhh if they only knew what awaits in the AFTER-LIFE of report cards, lawn mowing, dish washing, and mommy's tissies. I want those days back, lol!
BRAVO!
SCM |
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Re: Maybe Tomorrow
(User Rating: 1 )
by deadheadpoet on
Friday, 15th June 2007 @ 08:43:13 AM AEST
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Oh I'm with Daniel on this one. Great write, I can hear my children in this write. You have captured this well. The last stanza....put a smile on my face.
Peace, Laura |
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Re: Maybe Tomorrow
(User Rating: 1 )
by 5MinutePoet on
Friday, 15th June 2007 @ 08:45:56 AM AEST
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| I can't relate to this as much as most of the people on this site. But that is solely down to being British and having some differences in upbringing. Having said that, i like it. It is well written and has a wonderful rythm to it. I find myself putting on a southern states accent and reading along, although i do find it ends rather too abruptly for my taste. |
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Re: Maybe Tomorrow
(User Rating: 1 )
by Former_Member on
Friday, 15th June 2007 @ 09:37:44 AM AEST
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ND ... I could stare at the picture you chose for HOURS!
It's just too wonderful!
The write .. how delightful. Such an innocent atmosphere you've
created with your words. It truly put a smile on this face. And yeah,
what Daniel and Laura said is echoed here too! My children are
older now .. but they don't seem to outgrow that, "putting off
today what can wait until tomorrow" thing .. no matter HOW
much momma gets tizzied! lolol
Fun and enjoyable, hun!
~Breezy |
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Re: Maybe Tomorrow
(User Rating: 1 )
by Former_Member on
Friday, 15th June 2007 @ 11:34:50 AM AEST
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Hey! I think I remember saying this exact thing to MY mom!!??
Hehehe brings back great memories of quieter times and diffrent types of stresses.... :) |
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Re: Maybe Tomorrow
(User Rating: 1 )
by myheartsvoice on
Friday, 15th June 2007 @ 01:10:33 PM AEST
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This is beautiful and works quite well, conveying the child like innosence in
your self. Always a joy to read each new piece you pen upon these awaiting pages
my friend . . .
Ben |
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Re: Maybe Tomorrow
(User Rating: 1 )
by FRANCO on
Friday, 15th June 2007 @ 10:11:38 PM AEST
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your poem reminded me my childhood days. wonderful word selection to fit the mood of the poem.
I truly enjoyed reading.
FRANCO.
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Re: Maybe Tomorrow
(User Rating: 1 )
by Dom on
Saturday, 16th June 2007 @ 02:58:22 AM AEST
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Well I could relate to this and I'm British! Maybe I didn't do the activities you describe, but the essence of the poem surely exists in every child.
I thought this was a lovely innocent read, well done!
Take care,
Dom |
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Re: Maybe Tomorrow
(User Rating: 1 )
by lillyjane on
Saturday, 16th June 2007 @ 08:27:45 PM AEST
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| I agree with everything said a brilliant in sight to a childs mind xxx |
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Re: Maybe Tomorrow
(User Rating: 1 )
by ladyfawn on
Monday, 18th June 2007 @ 01:17:44 AM AEST
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they grow up far too fast, sigh, this was a wonderful memory lane poem for me, i would have kept reading if it was a mile long, thanks for sharing!
love n' hugs nessa |
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