|
 Menu
|
|
|
|
|
Social
|
|
|
|
|
Child of War
Contributed by
fadingaway
on
Tuesday, 12th June 2007 @ 05:33:58 PM in AEST
Topic:
DarkPoetry
|
As I walk across the shattered plain,
Scattered with corpses, and bloodied with rain,
The smoke from the battle filling my nose,
The stench of it all that seamingly flows,
Im the bringer of Death,
A whisper on you breath,
You see in my eye's,
That evil will rise,
Here the broken angels lye,
Stacked on a pyre waiting to die,
Slowly I torchered and removed each wing,
And took from them the ability to sing,
But heaven wasen't that great,
How easily it fell.
So I mounted my steed,
And I rode to hell!
Now here in the bowl of this infernal sea,
I'll test my whit and strength with thee,
A clotting river of blood will flow,
Forever waiting for Lucifer to show,
For I do not fear death you see,
There's nothing left to take but me,
The crimson flow inside my veins,
Urdging me on and gripping the reins,
So now here I stand on this broken plain of life,
Over looking a battle on the edge of a knife,
I konqoured heaven and rode to hell,
The inferno blazed a soul to sell,
I destroyed hell and bathed in the ash,
I washed with the blood from the whip and the lash,
I rinced in the tears of the angels eyes,
And listend on the wind to the whispering cries,
So here know I lay in stone,
Rotting flesh and broken bone,
It's funny now how my death came to be,
Would you like no know what it took to kill me?
It took but a child so innocent and pure,
A sense of love unwaveringly sure,
I did what I said that I would never do,
That day I fell in love with you!
Copyright ©
fadingaway
... [
2007-06-12 17:33:58]
(Date/Time posted on
site)
Advertisments:
|
|
|
|
|
|
Sorry, comments are no longer allowed for anonymous, please register for a free membership to access this feature and more
|
|
All comments are owned by the poster. Your Poetry
Dot Com is not responsible for the content of any
comment.
That said, if you find an offensive comment, please
contact via the FeedBack Form with details, including poem title
etc.
|
|
|
Re: Child of War
(User Rating: 1 )
by Former_Member on
Wednesday, 13th June 2007 @ 08:35:16 AM AEST
(User
Info | Send
a Message)
|
Oh wow what an ending the build up was extraordinary and reaching the conclusion which you did was just completely overwhelming. A quite emotional and wonderfully crafted work. I shall be searching for more of your work because this just completely blew me away. A tremendous job!
SUPERB!
SCM |
|
|
Re: Child of War
(User Rating: 1 )
by Former_Member on
Wednesday, 13th June 2007 @ 08:57:14 AM AEST
(User
Info | Send
a Message)
|
Oh my good God!! DAMN! This was so potent. There is
much anguish and pain, I fear within your words. Almost
a convtion of desperate and defeated finality ... and
that fate is sealed with the last stanza. I am most humbled
by this. A tremendous, TREMENDOUS write!
The overflow of emotion swimming in the poem's very veins
could inflame the most stoic of hearts. Bravo poet!! BRAVO!!!
~Breezy |
|
|
Re: Child of War
(User Rating: 1 )
by Dimes on
Wednesday, 13th June 2007 @ 09:22:37 AM AEST
(User
Info | Send
a Message)
|
Your rhyme scheme added a very nice flavor to the overall taste of the poem. Very tasty word choice also helped to enhance the overall meal; Excellent language.
However, it is not perfect. I feel that some stanzas could have been taken out, as they did not do anything to the poem exept for making it longer; The poem stood in place at times. And use spell check, for crying out loud! |
|
|
Re: Child of War
(User Rating: 1 )
by chrono110 on
Wednesday, 13th June 2007 @ 01:06:46 PM AEST
(User
Info | Send
a Message)
|
| This is very good, some of the best poetry I have read. 5 Stars! |
|
|
|
· 
Poetry
Community
Members
Areas
Reference
Search
Top
Others
