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In the presence of enemies
Contributed by
darkscorpio
on
Sunday, 10th June 2007 @ 11:29:11 PM in AEST
Topic:
EmotionalPoetry
|
In the presence of enemies
In the presence of your enemies, blackened by the sin
And the company you keep, and the demons from within
You fight this battle, from inside,
With no strength left, just foolish pride
Marriage is fading, friendships are dust
Threatened by insanity, addiction and lust
The sins of the father, now fall onto you
And the sunshine you sought is now blinding you
In the presence of my enemies, there’s no one left to see
Cause the truth be told, there’s no one left…the enemy is me.
Landed in October, the rust of the land
Spoke to me and took my hand
No longer wasting energy, on living a lie
Unable to move, I started to cry
The death had begun
Drove through the landscape, went far away
Left what I knew, I guess ran away
To repair and to heal, my wounded soul
Confront all the demons, of which I lost control
Tough rugged landscapes and mountains so high
No longer living, I wanted to die
Travel forever, a search to find
The answers locked, inside my mind
Drive through the mountains, the dessert terrain
Listen to the music as I discard all my pain
Eyes kept on the road ahead, try to drive away
From the hurt and pain of the last 4 years, try to find a way
For balance in my life filled with sorrow
Trying to find my hope for tomorrow
The choices I made, helped me to fail
The company I kept, helped drive in the nails
In to my hands, as I died for my sins
As the pressure and stress brought out the darkness within
The witch and the *****, the liar and whore
Took part in the downfall, but I blame myself more
Triangle of deception fell under a spell
Of blind loyalty, seduction, that I followed straight to hell
By ignoring the boundaries, I knew should be there
I opened my heart to deceit and despair
The one that I loved, was not there for me
I became complacent, and so did she
Torn by the pressures of everyday life
And no communication, I stopped knowing my wife
We stopped being friends, we shut down and shut out
Each other’s comfort, planted seeds of doubt
As time went on, we harvested sorrow
Ad dreaded each day, and hated tomorrow
Lost that connection, lost track of our heart
I left you to save us, for now we must part…
Afraid of the future, tormented by the past
The bonds that I forged could no longer last
The connections I made were becoming a noose
Dying ever slowly, my sanity torn loose
Struggle between the man I’d become, and that hurt little boy
Decisions were made to cut ties and destroy
In the presence of enemies, within and without
Heart wrenched by damage, mind full of doubt
I sacrificed all that I knew
In order to save us, to begin anew
Sold our possessions and cut every tie
To what festered the darkness, what fed into the lie
Assaulted by my demons on every end
Lost track of my family, lost track of real friends
Retreated to the mountains, where I had to decide
Would I begin to live again, or commit suicide?
My son, only one, that gave me hope
To come down from the gallows, take off this tightened rope
I wanted better for you, then what I had
When I was a kid, and it drove me mad
That I couldn’t at that time, be a good dad
And I knew if I didn’t confront my past
Your future would hurt, and your scars would last
And the cycle would continue, father to son
And you’d be what I had become, surrounded by love, but a lonely one
I had this ideal in my head, of what parents should be
To be there and love you, help you to see
What life can be as you grow older
Guidance and caring to help you grow bolder
I had always felt that you weren’t there
Never thought you loved me, never thought you cared
I hated and resented you, for most of my life
I blamed you both, for internal conflict and strife
I hated the responsibility, you threw onto me
Forcing me to think ahead, forcing me to see
Things from every angle, made me look ahead
To push myself harder, so I wouldn’t end up dead
But the most important skill, which is why I’m still alive
Is that you taught me self reliance, the skill to survive…..thank you
The months went past, the exile grew long
Destroyed, erased, improved my life, so I could become strong
Again, in mind and in heart
Spent lots of time in therapy, to help the demons part
Removed the toxic background, that led to my fall
Apologized to the ones I hurt, but the ones that hurt me, I removed them all
Awoken from the poison, miles away from what I once knew
Survived the cure, survived what we’ve been through
Took time away, to heal and to purge
The dark from my soul, survived the storm surge
Stability returned, serenity found
In the presence of forgiveness, clear of the sounds
Of resentment and hatred and destruction intense
Found a cure for the poison, found a defense
This doesn’t mean that the battle is won
And it doesn’t mean that the work is now done
But the bleeding was stopped, and the healing did start
It has in my mind, and it has in my heart
The boundaries once crossed, will never again
Be a factor in love, and my love will now mend
Too close to the edge of destruction this time
Surrounded myself with wrong people, a crime
Found a stronger family bond, rediscovered true friends
Died in some ways, destroyed, ripped and torn
A man on my own, wiser, older… reborn
Copyright ©
darkscorpio
... [
2007-06-10 23:29:11]
(Date/Time posted on
site)
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Re: In the presence of enemies
(User Rating: 1 )
by ek_da_poet on
Monday, 11th June 2007 @ 03:10:40 AM AEST
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a Message)
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| it was good but too long for me to read haha |
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Re: In the presence of enemies
(User Rating: 1 )
by shelby on
Monday, 11th June 2007 @ 05:00:24 AM AEST
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a Message)
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Truth of your heart and life my words cannot express the things I felt while reading this. In in awe with the flow and emotions within.
Michelle |
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Re: In the presence of enemies
(User Rating: 1 )
by emystar on
Monday, 11th June 2007 @ 01:33:33 PM AEST
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Wow this is some kind of write!
Great work!
One can feel the soul you put into this masterpeice.
Big huggs,
emy |
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Re: In the presence of enemies
(User Rating: 1 )
by Whisper on
Tuesday, 12th June 2007 @ 05:08:18 PM AEST
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God bless
What a wonderfulful write. Thank you for sharing those words of wisdom and pain . Thank you for hearing the happy ending .
Peace
Whisper |
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