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not the usual kind of cry
Contributed by
crystalcan
on
Tuesday, 29th May 2007 @ 12:25:51 AM in AEST
Topic:
EmotionalPoetry
|
in a moment when you're looking straight up at me,
i can't control my breathing and i've begun to cry
i've cried many times before, but none were quite like this.
you've anihilated my heart, you've torn it apart.
why did it have to be today? this day, of all days.
and even if you did it tomorrow, i'd still be asking
the same question... because i never wanted to lose you.
Copyright ©
crystalcan
... [
2007-05-29 00:25:51]
(Date/Time posted on
site)
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Re: not the usual kind of cry
(User Rating: 1 )
by ladyfawn on
Tuesday, 29th May 2007 @ 01:46:19 AM AEST
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never apologize for length, its content that counts, and your poem has a beautiful expression of feeling, great images, welcome to ypdc
love n' hugs nessa |
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Re: not the usual kind of cry
(User Rating: 1 )
by shelby on
Tuesday, 29th May 2007 @ 03:04:56 AM AEST
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first of all welcome to ypdc.
secondly, though short it is full of emotion, I repeat this often, a poet is a poet when they are able to make the reader feel, this you accomplished.
Michelle |
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Re: not the usual kind of cry
(User Rating: 1 )
by Honey56 on
Tuesday, 29th May 2007 @ 03:07:03 AM AEST
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Hope you feel better soon..The sadness just flowed thru this write...
Nice write...
C.S |
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Re: not the usual kind of cry
(User Rating: 1 )
by lostinmyself on
Tuesday, 29th May 2007 @ 09:01:59 AM AEST
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Welcome to YPDC. :)
This hits home rather hard right now, having been in a crappy break up just recently. That last line really hurts. The whole thing does, but that line is worse than the rest.
I like the way you have written this too, it's very effective, and the single line of rhyme is really good too.
Great write.
Phyllis xxx |
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Re: not the usual kind of cry
(User Rating: 1 )
by 20deep on
Wednesday, 30th May 2007 @ 01:48:41 AM AEST
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| i like this poem...a lot...its short and dark...most people can definately see themselves in this poem..the way it was written is very nice as well...really easy to read...so umm...good work... |
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