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Down or up?
Contributed by
nirvana12
on
Monday, 30th April 2007 @ 04:15:41 PM in AEST
Topic:
DarkPoetry
|
Rest tomorrow, feed your sorrow, give yourself into the hate. Dead and rotting, boxed and parting, my final appointment and Im late. The fog grows thicker, the light dims quicker, heaven or hell that is my fate. Down or up well I don't know one of these ways I shall go.
Copyright ©
nirvana12
... [
2007-04-30 16:15:41]
(Date/Time posted on
site)
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Re: Down or up?
(User Rating: 1 )
by SilverDagger on
Monday, 30th April 2007 @ 04:44:54 PM AEST
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a Message)
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| Expressive and vivid. We're all confused about our direction... you've portrayed this well. |
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Re: Down or up?
(User Rating: 1 )
by Music on
Monday, 30th April 2007 @ 05:22:46 PM AEST
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Love this poem can defiantly relate.
Music |
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Re: Down or up?
(User Rating: 1 )
by Gravehorn on
Tuesday, 1st May 2007 @ 06:02:22 AM AEST
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It would be alot better if you split the lines up
Example:
Rest tommorrow, feed your sorrow,
give yourself into the hate.
dead and rotting, boxed and parting,
my final appointment and im late.
It is a decent poem, although it doesnt have enough distinct direction. |
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