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your painted smile
Contributed by
ladyfawn
on
Monday, 30th April 2007 @ 10:25:45 AM in AEST
Topic:
DarkPoetry
|
every time i see you, such grace, a style
whilst inside you are dying raining smiles,
your painted smile shall not outwardly show
grief within, those heart bits, for only you to know,
bitter sorrow you wear as your perfume, oceans tears
falling on your sheets, past eyelashes, alone in your room,
for there he lies betwix and between blooming flowers of spring
beautiful mountain mornings send you flying into anguish,
falling to your feet, but noone sees for you hide it well.
whilst she dies a thousand times each day
god? where is comforting you promised her?
grief dwells in her heart, mind, soul, shattered
spirit... fairies with little pails take her tears and make
the flowers grow every night as she collapses and breaks,
as if to sustain her faithful heart in his absence, she wears a painted
smile upon her face in heartbreaking defense, have you noticed-
wasting time on her praying knees, no answers ever received,
then she goes outside and picks dead leaves from trees.
there is no god that will lay a soft hand on her
weeping, she will dance joyful his memories whilst
she is sweeping... she will dream of his peace in the night, or
when she stands by his grave, she will live by the lessons he gave,
she wishes she could get through one day when noone asked her why, or that
endless abundance of water behind her eyes would go by, she so finds it
unfaire, that there be blossoms in air, cannot help but to compare- this
day to one afore, when life was worth its living, and no troubles bore
down on her whilst inside darkness she spends everyday, for awhile,
dying raining smiles.
dying raining smiles.
§* *§
*|*
Copyright ©
ladyfawn
... [
2007-04-30 10:25:45]
(Date/Time posted on
site)
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Re: your painted smile
(User Rating: 1 )
by Bloodydragon on
Monday, 30th April 2007 @ 10:46:54 AM AEST
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Ah I missed your writes, always finding the right notes, hiting the right feelings, your words flay the mind with emoitions and full pictures till nothing but rawness remains awaiting to be filled with your unique stylelings and words,
Excellent write sigh, such darkness and deep beauty within your powerful imagary.
Raz |
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Re: your painted smile
(User Rating: 1 )
by FRANCO on
Monday, 30th April 2007 @ 11:47:34 AM AEST
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It is a wonderful poem of lamentation has the right kind of words to string the emotion that lay behind those tear soaked eyes.
I really liked this poem because of its mere Sentimental approach.
FRANCO. |
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Re: your painted smile
(User Rating: 1 )
by Vampirequeen on
Monday, 30th April 2007 @ 12:02:18 PM AEST
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amazing Ladyfawn
I have miss your writes.
hugs |
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Re: your painted smile
(User Rating: 1 )
by deadheadpoet on
Monday, 30th April 2007 @ 02:54:30 PM AEST
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Hauntingly beautiful. You are such a talented poet. I love your style, my sweet Nessa. I echo others in saying, it is so good to see you posting again. Thank you for sharing your words.
Peace and hugs,
Laura |
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Re: your painted smile
(User Rating: 1 )
by shelby on
Monday, 30th April 2007 @ 03:58:15 PM AEST
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Nessa,
your heart soared within this write and its feeling came aive within me while reading it, I cried a tear myself.
Huggers
Michelle |
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Re: your painted smile
(User Rating: 1 )
by Butterat_Zool on
Monday, 30th April 2007 @ 09:33:43 PM AEST
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Oh... sad and beautiful. I've been half-back lately, and convinced myself i'd never see a new ladyfawn poem. Nobody else could have written like this. I am overjoyed to see you are back and will read and comment on your other new pieces when i am more current on my sleep.
Your friend in words, as always,
Butterat Zool. |
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Re: your painted smile
(User Rating: 1 )
by PhantomVampyress on
Tuesday, 1st May 2007 @ 03:43:09 AM AEST
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wow this is just so beautifully written yet sad also. i love the wording and the ending especially.. I have missed your poetry nessa!! glad to see your beautiful writings back!!
vampyress Jenni |
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Re: your painted smile
(User Rating: 1 )
by myheartsvoice on
Tuesday, 1st May 2007 @ 04:20:02 AM AEST
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Sorrowfuly beautiful and does justice to the term dark. Fine job you've done here. Dark become's you. Tottaly enjoyable.
((((Nessa))))
Ben |
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Re: your painted smile
(User Rating: 1 )
by Crow on
Tuesday, 1st May 2007 @ 11:02:46 AM AEST
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| I wish you peace,this write is so filled with heart, and sadness, grief, most of all I wish you love. excellent write and read. Vincent |
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Re: your painted smile
(User Rating: 1 )
by Muhammadshanazar on
Tuesday, 1st May 2007 @ 02:43:08 PM AEST
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Very nice piece rather I may call it a superb one, it shows the attitude of a contending being whom the poetess observed from very close distance; the poem throws light on the general truth of life, often we being men and women keep our pangs and smiles secret from our fellow beings and it becomes a tragedy, our painted smiles do not allow anyone to penetrate into the deep layers of pangs of self-sufferings, and in result a sense of loneliness emerges and heart becomes gloomy, faith in humanity vanishes from the mind, it is better to conceal ones pleasures and pains but the question is to whom we should reveal, we all are the statues with out hearts and minds; we find no one sharing our pains and pleasures for every one is covered under the thick covering of greed and selfishness. The canvas of poem is too vast to comment with a few lines which shows the poetess herself possesses a vast zone of acceptance, she is not mere a poetess with a petty heart but has a capacious one like an ocean that does not surge though it contains thousands of watery channels. As far as the imagery is concerned I am astonished, it is unusual: dying raining smiles, painted smiles, heart bits, bitter sorrow as perfume, oceans of tears falling on sheets, flying into anguish, spirit... fairies with little pails taking tears, picking of the dead leaves from trees, etc. are the images not found in the work of common poets with low fight of imagination. I may regard it a great work, go on, love and hugs for you too.
Muhammad Shanazar (From Pakistan)
(Judge of International Poetry Competitions Hosted by Voices Network North Carolina U.S.A)
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Re: your painted smile
(User Rating: 1 )
by emystar on
Thursday, 3rd May 2007 @ 10:27:42 AM AEST
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and your hubby-n-children are dancing with you.
It's very powerful aswesome as we all have luved ones that has gone on.
This masterpeie brings healing to all that listens as their hearts interpets it's deep, awesome meanings.
Yo go girlfriend!
Big luv, huggs, hope,
emy |
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Re: your painted smile
(User Rating: 1 )
by Former_Member on
Wednesday, 9th May 2007 @ 05:37:02 AM AEST
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You mix greif with fantasy and lost love and....this!
An emotion, a nuance so well caught, not just described, but lived...On a plain of its own...wonderful! |
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Re: your painted smile
(User Rating: 1 )
by Former_Member on
Saturday, 12th May 2007 @ 02:09:38 AM AEST
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nessa, a beautiful mixture of emotion trapped inside the
walls of yours words, hun. Such a sadness clings to each line.
I adore the fairies reference .. shows how the painted smile could
be placed on a face that wants nothing more than to close off
the coldness and darkness it is seemingly surrounded by.
Touching and very very moving!
~Breezy |
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Re: your painted smile
(User Rating: 1 )
by Dom on
Saturday, 12th May 2007 @ 05:51:04 PM AEST
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Beautifully sad and haunting, you have a gift for creating vivid and memorable images that contrast beauty and anguish.
Lovely and heartfelt,
Dom |
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Re: your painted smile
(User Rating: 1 )
by needledancing on
Tuesday, 15th May 2007 @ 11:50:15 AM AEST
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| Such deep inner touching was felt as I read each word. You have portrayed a picture of a truly strong being who knows there is no other choice but to go on. The courage she carries is the strength we all seek. A wonderful, truly magnificent piece. |
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Re: your painted smile
(User Rating: 1 )
by needledancing on
Wednesday, 23rd May 2007 @ 03:46:40 PM AEST
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| A beautiful piece that pulled on my heartsrings ,so wonderfully written and telling us that each of us bares the pain of our experiences. Yet to smile through it all alas this is the challenge of life. Bravo and so well was this done. |
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Re: your painted smile
(User Rating: 1 )
by colinb on
Sunday, 6th July 2014 @ 01:40:26 AM AEST
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| your poems always reach my emotions |
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