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Suicide Part 2
Contributed by
Kairo
on
Saturday, 28th April 2007 @ 02:54:36 AM in AEST
Topic:
EmotionalPoetry
|
Racking in pain as I attempted to walk
I pictured my girlfriend sitting me down to talk:
"Boy, I've never known you to be the killin' kind
I wanna know one thing: what the HELL was on your mind??"
And me refusing to speak until my tears were dry...
My expression would spell "DEATH, DUH" as I looked her in the eye
All up in my business! Who is she s'posed to be?
She s'posed to be my girlfriend, duh, so what was buggin me?
I'll just say this: eighteen years with no friends is cruel
Because when was the last time you dreaded going to school?
And no, not because you could never find that space in the parking lot
But because the 'friends' you thought you were friends were actually not
The kinds that simply use you for help them pass
And forces your school career to be full of kiss-...well you know...
If you ever needed anything from them, your desires were left bare
Yet I never stopped being a fool because the CHANCE was always there
"Hey one of them's gotta like me for who I am, right?" or so I was taught
But that junk only happened on After School Specials, so that was my fault
And dang, by the time that logic and my common sense made romance
HHS band was playing Pomp and Circumstance
My mind trailed so far away as I put my past life into view
Even though I was in enough pain...I was ready for another go in 332
My wounds refused to let me give 'friends' all the credit
And I refused to acknowledge attempted suicide...even though I actually did it
I needed somebody else to blame for all this...so I picked my dad
"See what you made me do? Now, they're probably all mad
All because SOMEBODY didn't wanna step up
And be a Top Dawg to raise this young pup
Now I'm a GENT covered in this striped, dried, burgandy mess
A GENT!! Not some TIGER from LSUS
But why am I talking to you? Cuz it's not like you care...
And I guess that explains why you were never there
Because of you I became the "Average Broken Teen"
Where the mother takes care of everything"
I thought pointing the blame would make me feel better
But the D-A-D part burned me up so I tore up the letter
And while I was still up through all of this drunkedly swaying
My friend was on the floor fervently praying
Waddling about with blood drying all over my sin
The familiar figure of my girlfriend walks in
And as predicted - as if she was emotionally lead
We all sat down and me with hatred still in my head
Anger seduced me like a mad man stalking
The sensation was so overwhelming, I didn't feel like talking
Because I knew the words to follow would trail fear
And a bunch of nonsense would be all she'd hear
Like, "Why do you wanna know? I'm tired of ya'll asking, 'WHY?'
What happened to the part where I just roll over and die?
Leave me ALONE...I don't want to suffer anymore..."
The tears found their way back and they began to pour
My emotions swirled as my pain reached its peak
Embarrassed in front of my friends I began to speak
"I've been nothing but friendly and THIS is how people do me!
This AIN'T they way my future is SUPPOSED to be...
God knows I'm no better than the next guy
Yet everybody has SOMETHING to say so why do I try?
I can't take this junk no more - my whole life's a mees"
My girlfriend grabbed my hand as if she could sense my lonliness
My body shook, my eyes burned, my speech was seasoned with fear
I snatched my hand to conceal my mask and restrained the next tear
An hour went by and no one had anything to say
My friends just stared at my scars and at me in dismay
And my better half looked on and no longer saw her mate
Just some tall psycho whom she used to date...
And just like that I saw her no more
Only me and friend now...and he started heading for the door
Both of them gone; All because of me
And by my unmeditated mistake they took choice B
Which was 'give no advice, no props, no commands
Because its times like this where he's in God's hands'
Choice A is the usual 'Help him' gig
But my friends knew my problem was too big
Such solace brought many new directions into view
What was the next step after 332...
...to be continued...
Copyright ©
Kairo
... [
2007-04-28 02:54:36]
(Date/Time posted on
site)
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Re: Suicide Part 2
(User Rating: 1 )
by GuyJular on
Friday, 20th August 2010 @ 10:41:41 AM AEST
(User
Info | Send
a Message)
|
| Honestly dude, if ur thinking of suicide anything that happens in high school is not worth ur life. High school is a waste of time. And those "popular kids" that only want ur help to cheat r the ones that become the alcoholics that ruin their lives cuz they peaked in high school. Don't base ur life or actions off other people, they rnt worth it. |
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