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Dancing With Her Daemons
Contributed by
Nazmythian
on
Monday, 26th March 2007 @ 11:39:47 PM in AEST
Topic:
anguished
|
Dancing With Her Daemons
She is dancing with her daemons
and she only wants to shout
pick apart their skin and
simply rip their insides out.
Their music is disturbing
as they callously sashay
through this life of memories
and dreams that she has made.
She is dancing with her daemons
as she settles into bed
beneath the heavy blankets
voices weighing in her head.
Annoyingly they're shrieking
she tries desperately to sleep
again her dreams elude her while
through this waltz they creep.
She is dancing with her daemons
as another day begins
she deftly pirouettes around
their faceless evil grins.
All the while wishing
she could tear them limb from bone
cause them equal torment
with razored teeth that are her own.
She is dancing with her daemons
as they scream out with delight
they wheel her 'round about the floor
they claw, they tear and bite.
I stand a lonely wallflower
looking on with much chagrin
for I know they'll never let me ...
and I am aching to cut in.
~ Nazmythian ~
* wtitten Jan. 18th, 2007 *
( it seemed ready ... tonight )
Copyright ©
Nazmythian
... [
2007-03-26 23:39:47]
(Date/Time posted on
site)
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Re: Dancing With Her Daemons
(User Rating: 1 )
by emystar on
Monday, 26th March 2007 @ 11:52:51 PM AEST
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Hi Nazzy,
As usual a great write and very creative even tho sad.
Big huggs,
emy |
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Re: Dancing With Her Daemons
(User Rating: 1 )
by Former_Member on
Monday, 26th March 2007 @ 11:58:30 PM AEST
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Scotty .. I have not the words to truly express what this
piece means to me. It is so overwhelmingly emotional
and painful to read. The daily struggles with our demons
does leave us faint and restless, to say the least. But
we do it. We do it everyday, because the one day that
our angels shine and sing upon our hearts is worth
every day of battle before.
I love this. It is perfect in every way. And might I add, that
last line is incredibly touching. You are the master, hun.
Kudos
~Breezy |
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Re: Dancing With Her Daemons
(User Rating: 1 )
by Eternal_Dreamer on
Tuesday, 27th March 2007 @ 12:14:46 AM AEST
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Scott~
this was totally painful and sad to read my friend. Gosh, I'm stuck for the right words to give you on this emotive and truly outstanding write of yours.
I stand a lonely wallflower
looking on with much chagrin
for I know they'll never let me ...
and I am aching to cut in.
These words saddened my heart to read.
You're a true poetic master dearest Scott~
Thank you for posting this.
hugs n prayers,
dreamer |
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Re: Dancing With Her Daemons
(User Rating: 1 )
by Spike on
Tuesday, 27th March 2007 @ 06:13:00 AM AEST
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Naz, a very cool write - great subject matter, and the likening of the constant struggle with our inner turmoil to staccato-like dancing is very creative (the visceral thought-riposte works so well with it) but I think the poetic technique is the standout here.
Just my opinion -a couple endlines felt a little long, given the metre already established. I've been told recently that poets, more than any other writers, feel very possessive of their words and find it difficult to shed any, but the rest is tight and well honed.
I love how you've inserted yourself in the last stanza, instantly personalising the whole piece.
Bravo, dude.
Spike
ps: I'm just watching 'Happy Feet', where Mumble has to deal with his inner deamons -weird! |
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Re: Dancing With Her Daemons
(User Rating: 1 )
by needledancing on
Tuesday, 27th March 2007 @ 06:16:55 AM AEST
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| An excellent piece and as previously stated some sadness there but done in your artistic mastery it flows beautifully. |
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Re: Dancing With Her Daemons
(User Rating: 1 )
by Dom on
Tuesday, 27th March 2007 @ 07:18:23 AM AEST
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This poem brilliantly expresses our inner turmoil in a way that is easy to relate to and yet also feels very personal. The ending is exquisite.
Well done,
Dom |
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Re: Dancing With Her Daemons
(User Rating: 1 )
by deadheadpoet on
Wednesday, 28th March 2007 @ 10:54:19 PM AEST
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Oh Naz man, This write touched my heart so very deeply. Exquisite piece. I truly felt this wonderful write. (I'm dancing with a few of those daemons myself)
Much peace,
Laura |
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Re: Dancing With Her Daemons
(User Rating: 1 )
by yangdantien on
Thursday, 29th March 2007 @ 09:39:23 PM AEST
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The glimpse of deep internal struggles in another has the appearance of daemon and dance and only a true loved one would seek to get in between that.
I have an ex that fits 'Her' description but mine went the next step and declared she was the sum of evil, I half expected her to turn into a twirling fountain of pea soup rather than spread claws on her tormentors.
The fight is a martial ballet keeping a level of tension between inner and external worlds.
As I further gather wool from this post rest assured there is much to coat my awe.
Excellent
Peace
Yang
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Re: Dancing With Her Daemons
(User Rating: 1 )
by Former_Member on
Saturday, 31st March 2007 @ 03:25:44 PM AEST
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Another wonderfully crafted write Scott. Which as with your work and a handful of others is what I expect! This one in particular is something more, and one of your better works in a while. I think the old english spelling works well here and after reading that note and the poem I agree it would've not worked quite as well the other way. Not saying it wouldn't work but I think the Old English spelling both added an elegance plus it highlighted your brilliant last line. Dancing and Old English kinda go hand in hand.
I was very impressed how you kept the theme in your rhythm and though this is a very emotional write about something very dark hearted as personal demons it makes it's point more precisely because the flow moves lightly. Something of brilliance few poets can do. Poe could write darkly with light flow and apparantly so can Scott. And just like Poe you made your point with more effect because of that. I applaud this and once again you never cease to impress!
STANDING IN CHEER!
- Daniel |
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Re: Dancing With Her Daemons
(User Rating: 1 )
by ladyfawn on
Thursday, 26th April 2007 @ 02:35:24 PM AEST
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your talent shines in this write, i do so love your poetry, you are a joy to read:)
love n' hugs nessa
roses |
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Re: Dancing With Her Daemons
(User Rating: 1 )
by Sagefairy on
Sunday, 14th October 2007 @ 02:34:16 AM AEST
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This one moves me since I am seeing much of my demons of late. Facing and conquering them one by one in fact. I suppose this is something one sees much more often in females of our species -- since we tend to immerse in whatever we're feeling.
Well written and one of those I can most relate to.
Blessings, J. |
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