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Bedfellows
Contributed by
Butterat_Zool
on
Monday, 19th March 2007 @ 02:25:41 AM in AEST
Topic:
Lifepoems
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We did this one backwards, I think,
Stranger, holding me tight,
bending my will in unexpected ways.
I have memorized every brushstroke
that makes up your arms, your back, your legs.
On your bare skin, I can place every freckle,
every feather-light strand of invisible hair,
every smell and texture, taste and temperature.
In your eyes, I see only my reflection,
and nothing deeper.
I know nothing of what you are thinking, wishing,
how I should respond, or even feel.
I know no stories from your youth,
no ambitions or motives.
I can taste your heartbeat, but for the life of me
can’t decipher its code.
Let more than my tongue enter your head,
Lest you have nothing left to give me.
Copyright ©
Butterat_Zool
... [
2007-03-19 02:25:41]
(Date/Time posted on
site)
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Re: Bedfellows
(User Rating: 1 )
by Dom on
Monday, 19th March 2007 @ 08:47:43 AM AEST
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a Message)
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An intriguing poem, the descriptions of your lover are beautifully phrased and I thought it this was going to be one of those very sweet love poems. Then I read 'In your eyes I see only my reflection, and nothing deeper' and I had to smile at having been gulled into thinking this was just a love poem. Very good, creative, and the contrast in the two parts of the poem is handled beautifully.
Dom |
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Re: Bedfellows
(User Rating: 1 )
by kye on
Monday, 19th March 2007 @ 09:18:24 AM AEST
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a Message)
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I love your poem and it is the best that I have read today.
Your depth, perception and inner thoughts give a glimpse of you.
The fact that you notice texture, taste & temperature etc. just wows me.
Starting backwards has made for a awesome poem.
"I can taste your heartbeat, but for the life of me can't decipher its code."
Now that is intriguing and deep.
Well done! |
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Re: Bedfellows
(User Rating: 1 )
by FRANCO on
Monday, 19th March 2007 @ 07:58:41 PM AEST
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It is wonderful poem, with great intensity.
well done my friend.
FRANCO. |
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Re: Bedfellows
(User Rating: 1 )
by priss on
Monday, 19th March 2007 @ 11:10:40 PM AEST
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oh wow, this is great! l loved every line "let more than my tongue enter your head, lest you have nothing left to give me"~truly brilliant, thanks for posting!
~priss |
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