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Running on Empty
Contributed by
hauntedscorp
on
Thursday, 15th March 2007 @ 06:28:00 PM in AEST
Topic:
selfstruggles
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In stark harmony ---
stenciled hypocrisy
With hushed anticipation
our whispered trepidations
Lying dormant for years:
this blood, sweat, and tears
Dare not utter a sound
hidden forever; never found
Marred by a skeletal crease
a chance at peace begs release
Unknown for too fretfully long
a filtered tryst to right a wrong
Ample explanation came and went
reflective of moments never spent
Bursting with a wasted life
shot to shambles; loaded strife
Crawling through a negative vibe,
running in circles; don't break the stride.
Copyright ©
hauntedscorp
... [
2007-03-15 18:28:00]
(Date/Time posted on
site)
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Re: Running on Empty
(User Rating: 1 )
by Former_Member on
Thursday, 15th March 2007 @ 06:58:34 PM AEST
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The first to comment on a Hauntedscorp submission? an unexpected honour.
Complacency. Complacency, and stagnation is the intonation that stands out for me in this. Or as Sylvia Plath said, "The incalculable horror of the everyday, the grinding, grinding millstone of indifference". Worse still is not having a viable outlet for such things.
Excellent speed and sonics-If I weren't typing this up in the sorrounds of a very quiet university library I would speak this poem into the air.
Smooth as a luger, clocked on like a silencer, excellent write
larkspur |
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Re: Running on Empty
(User Rating: 1 )
by Sena on
Thursday, 15th March 2007 @ 07:07:52 PM AEST
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| I can really relate to this....especially the part about running around in circles. Great expression...thx for sharing. |
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Re: Running on Empty
(User Rating: 1 )
by Willofree on
Thursday, 15th March 2007 @ 07:32:16 PM AEST
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A powerful read with what appears to be a lot of internalized anguish and anticipatory distress. One wonders if the internalized pain ever got to be expressed. The imagery and wording are fantastic.
Well done Scorp, I hope this is not reflective of your present state of mind. It's good to see you posting again.
Will |
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Re: Running on Empty
(User Rating: 1 )
by MisfitMe on
Thursday, 15th March 2007 @ 08:14:36 PM AEST
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This comment speaks more to your style than to this write specifically as I am once more very impressed simply by your use of language & rhythm, truely, I feel as if your love for working words is equal to mine, which tends to be somewhat obsessive at times...but, here I digress, teehee.
In all seriousness, the art of your wording is inspiring!
BigLoveMuchPeace
~me |
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Re: Running on Empty
(User Rating: 1 )
by yangdantien on
Thursday, 15th March 2007 @ 09:26:07 PM AEST
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The title reminds me of the Jackson Brown song where 'running on empty, running on blind..." and a sweet little film with the same title and a meaningful performance by the late River Phoenix. There is a scene with Martha Plimpton where standing behind her seductively he says "I am very happy with you..."
As well there are a few living heart donors and having need to mend and preformed such surgery on myself it stands to reason it goes against all medical advice. However what you do with pen and page is recommended.
You have weaved 9 couplets most elegantly and perhaps in the last upon looking up while "running in circles" transforms in to spirals which without breaking stride and is soil to the seed of your choice toward descending or ascension.
Blessing
Yang
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Re: Running on Empty
(User Rating: 1 )
by Former_Member on
Thursday, 15th March 2007 @ 10:17:50 PM AEST
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my dear scorpy .. sefl-struggle indeed!!
This sounds so much like the push and pull of a scorpio's
need to exact payback and the mind's need to be compassionate ..
(tough to deal with in most cases, I know.. I know .. )
You have mastered the description of being drawn in
about a hundred different directions .. in fact, I'm in need
of a breath after reading this. Excellent post, hun.
Never do I ever come away from your page without a
new view and a lot of humility.
always ~
~Breezy
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Re: Running on Empty
(User Rating: 1 )
by needledancing on
Friday, 16th March 2007 @ 02:42:46 AM AEST
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How many hum this rythmic beat through their veins? How many do not know how to change the beat? A wonderful piece that is very thought provoking
.Bursting with a wasted life
shot to shambles; loaded strife
The gut feelings of the many. |
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Re: Running on Empty
(User Rating: 1 )
by brew on
Friday, 16th March 2007 @ 06:37:46 AM AEST
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Many sights, doors, and more have been set in this write. All known so well. For scropie, my soul twin at heart.....Loved every word penned here, tonite, especially the"running in circles" . I wonder if any knows what circles, we actually run. Wold make for a very long, carosel. ride.....but only faster in motion. Never stop writing..... Glad to see your name
Hugs
Brew~ |
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Re: Running on Empty
(User Rating: 1 )
by shelby on
Friday, 16th March 2007 @ 09:17:54 AM AEST
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Your verse and word useage are incredible.
Oh yes I relate to these words. I feel you in this one my friend.
I hope this passes you and leaves you with warmth and oy. Until then know I am only a button click away and am wrapping my arms around you from a distance. So tight you will feel it come to you on the winds of the universe.
~Michelle~ |
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Re: Running on Empty
(User Rating: 1 )
by emystar on
Friday, 16th March 2007 @ 06:45:21 PM AEST
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Hello there friend,
everyone else has said it all.
It's very powerfull, moving, incredibly written.
A masterpeice in it's own right.
Hope yoou felt better after these words made it thru your pen.
Big huggs,
emy |
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Re: Running on Empty
(User Rating: 1 )
by Eternal_Dreamer on
Friday, 23rd March 2007 @ 07:43:04 PM AEST
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Scorpy, hun it's so good to visit your pages once again my dear friend. Please accept my apologies on being so late in stopping by~
My sweet and dear friend it saddens me so to read such a sad and painful write by you.
My gosh Scorpy, I hope and pray these
terrible times that you are having will cease
and that they will be replaced with such happy & splendid moments.
Sue *hugs* Scorpy *tight*.
May the cycle of pain & sadness be broken
and may love, joy and happiness find their
way once again to your beautiful loving heart.
I have missed you heaps Scorp~
All the best of wishes with all that you do hun~
love n hugs,
sue m |
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Re: Running on Empty
(User Rating: 1 )
by ladyfawn on
Thursday, 22nd May 2014 @ 05:46:25 PM AEST
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sometimes its like we are on a carousel, unable
to get off, it just keeps circling, so hang on to the
prettiest pony! this is an excellent write,
hugs n' love nessa |
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