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There aren't Words

Contributed by xXdeadXpoetXx on Thursday, 15th March 2007 @ 04:12:32 PM in AEST
Topic: SadPoetry

the loss of myself
horrible bewilderment
i cannot bare me
and yet he tries
and i hate
god, I hate to say it
but I don't think his trying
is helping
i want to stay in love
but I know I'm going to f**k it up
and thats the last thing I wanna do
just hold me close
at least for now
because I know I'm going to go
deeper into the tunnel
of self-hurt
I've deprived myself
of anything worth while
and still
when I get something like it
I cannot keep it
you promise me you'll be there
you're not giving up on me
but that doesn't help
not when I've given up on myself
and first I thought this was great
it hasn't changed
you haven't changed
if you had, it would be for the better
why must I mess things up
everything that matters
once i escape from the harshness
of myself
and fall into you
and yet somehow,
in the midst of all that is real
all that is true
all that is love
there's a claw
grabbing at my ankle
begging me back into depression
I know you can try
and I want to be with you more than anything
please make this last
I'm trying not to give up
trying not to give in
i want to be with you
and yet, I'm so afraid I will destroy you
you're strong, I know
and you'll bare through it, for me
But I'm not sure if I can say the same
I'm trying. I'm trying so hard.
To the point that it hurts.
I'm not even saying you're not worth it.
You are. so beautiful. so amazing.
I'm saying I'm not worth it.
I'm a waste of f**king time.
I'm bringing you down
Don't say I'm not, I'm a giant lie
I love you so much it hurts me
And the last thing I want is for this to end
I'm trying, baby, to keep this alive
but it's so hard when I'm dying
I love you so much, so please help me
Try harder than you've imagined
because I can't help myself
Too many words and thoughts
fueled by confusion
loss of mindset
trying to stay on track with you
I don't want to leave you

Copyright © xXdeadXpoetXx ... [ 2007-03-15 16:12:32]
(Date/Time posted on site)

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Re: There aren't Words (User Rating: 1 )
by Sena on Friday, 16th March 2007 @ 08:03:17 AM AEST
(User Info | Send a Message)

I can relate to this....especially the line about depressions claw grabbing you by the ankle. Very creative and expressive write. Thx. for sharing.

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