|
 Menu
|
|
|
|
|
Social
|
|
|
|
|
Dear Meat Consumer,
Contributed by
wakingdream
on
Tuesday, 13th March 2007 @ 09:42:55 PM in AEST
Topic:
HumorPoetry
|
I understand that you like to be offered
brand new kinds of meat that have been manufactured just for you.
I like the way you look at me when I offer you
brand new kinds of meat that have been manufactured just for you.
I wonder if you listen intently when I explain the liking that I experience and it's relation to the way you look at me when I offer
brand new kinds of meat that have been manufactured just for you.
However, the meat I have to offer you
is not brand new and it has not been manufactured just for you,
It is organically grown inside animals and is mass produced.
I hate the way you look at me when I explain about how
meat has been grown inside animals and mass produced and therefore
not brand new or manufactured just for you. I
wonder if you know how much mental anguish I experience in receiving your look of response to my statements about
meat being grown inside animals and mass produced and not being brand new or manufactured just for you.
Please try to understand that I consider it to be a very unreasonable request that meat be
brand new and manufactured just for you.
It would be highly impractical and furthermore
your continued instance that meat be
brand new and manufactured just for you
seems to constitute some sort of delusions of grandeur.
I am not a brand new custom mean manufacturer.
I am a hot dog vendor, and can exercise no creative control over the production of the meat that I sell.
I also think that your apparent need for
brand new kinds of meat
shows a lack of appreciation for kinds of meat that already exist.
They work. They taste good.
And furthermore, production and preparation of
said meats
have been perfected over the years as a result of centuries of practice by butchers, cooks, and yes, even hot dog vendors.
You see, I would not know the first thing about vending these hypothetical
brand new meats which have been manufactured just for you.
You see, I know hot dogs, the better part of my life was spent learning how to properly vend them,
and I take great pride in my life's work.
So even if, somehow I happened to have
meats that were brand new and manufactured just for you,
you'd probably find that the vending service accompanying these
exciting new meats
would be quite unsatisfactory.
So once again for the sake of clarity,
whilst I, from time to time, may offer you
meats that are brand new and manufactured just for you,
this gesture has been made solely for the sake the wonderful look that you give me when I offer you
meats that are brand new and manufactured just for you,
which I like a lot.
But you must remember that this is only an empty gesture.
I do not have any sort of
meats that are brand new and manufactured just for you.
These meats
do not exist, and furthermore,
even if they did exist, I could not sell them to you until they had been approved by the board of health.
I hope this letter has cleared up several of the misunderstandings
that has plagued our relationship as hot dog vendor and meat consumer.
I assure you that this relationship has the potential to be mutually beneficial one,
as well as sexually empowering.
Copyright ©
wakingdream
... [
2007-03-13 21:42:55]
(Date/Time posted on
site)
Advertisments:
|
|
|
|
|
|
Sorry, comments are no longer allowed for anonymous, please register for a free membership to access this feature and more
|
|
All comments are owned by the poster. Your Poetry
Dot Com is not responsible for the content of any
comment.
That said, if you find an offensive comment, please
contact via the FeedBack Form with details, including poem title
etc.
|
|
|
|
· 
Poetry
Community
Members
Areas
Reference
Search
Top
Others
