|
 Menu
|
|
|
|
|
Social
|
|
|
|
|
Moving Out, Moving On
Contributed by
spike
on
Friday, 23rd February 2007 @ 07:16:57 PM in AEST
Topic:
goodbyepoetry
|
My house and I are falling out.
the front door lock,
once so smoothly yielding
stubbornly resists the key
the door sticks to the frame,
but I shoulder an entrance
amidst groans and creaking protest.
From the fridge a frosty glow,
and an icy stare from the freezer
- no sustenance there.
the carpet gives me dirty looks,
while the stairs complain as I mount them.
The walls are closing in
“out-out-out!” they chorus
behind flaking paint and cracked render
the water takes forever to warm up,
and the pipes tremble their disgust
soon it’ll be smoke at midnight
or a ceiling light clouting me senseless.
I know when I’m not wanted,
so I’ve packed and given notice
all the while, eyeing a cute little flat
in a tree-lined, picturesque street
lace draped windows, well built
and a massive, uhm, balcony
but the joke’s on you, dear ex-house,
for all your domestic betrayal
(I didn’t flush)
Copyright ©
spike
... [
2007-02-23 19:16:57]
(Date/Time posted on
site)
Advertisments:
|
|
|
|
|
|
Sorry, comments are no longer allowed for anonymous, please register for a free membership to access this feature and more
|
|
All comments are owned by the poster. Your Poetry
Dot Com is not responsible for the content of any
comment.
That said, if you find an offensive comment, please
contact via the FeedBack Form with details, including poem title
etc.
|
|
|
Re: Moving Out, Moving On
(User Rating: 1 )
by emystar on
Friday, 23rd February 2007 @ 08:50:48 PM AEST
(User
Info | Send
a Message)
|
Cute all the way down to I didn't flush it.
Awesdome writing.
huggs, smiles,
emy |
|
|
Re: Moving Out, Moving On
(User Rating: 1 )
by FRANCO on
Friday, 23rd February 2007 @ 10:07:40 PM AEST
(User
Info | Send
a Message)
|
A WONDERFUL POEM. FUNNY THOUGH.
FRANCO |
|
|
Re: Moving Out, Moving On
(User Rating: 1 )
by shelby on
Saturday, 24th February 2007 @ 02:59:49 AM AEST
(User
Info | Send
a Message)
|
LOL!!!! The title caught me right away and this is so inventive not to mention funny! Then I got to the very end and I laughed out loud. You my friend always keep me guessing. Loved this and that pic is super neato!!!!!!! I also agree with the entire thing. Houses are a living breathing thing at times though we dont think of it as such until it reminds us.
~Michelle~ |
|
|
Re: Moving Out, Moving On
(User Rating: 1 )
by SaintzAndSinnerz on
Sunday, 25th February 2007 @ 10:49:07 AM AEST
(User
Info | Send
a Message)
|
| This poem made me laugh and its so creative. I hate when doors stick to the frame! Good job! |
|
|
Re: Moving Out, Moving On
(User Rating: 1 )
by PhantomVampyress on
Sunday, 25th February 2007 @ 11:22:25 AM AEST
(User
Info | Send
a Message)
|
a very creative well penned out piece.. it was kinda funny too great job
vampyress Jenni |
|
|
Re: Moving Out, Moving On
(User Rating: 1 )
by MisfitMe on
Monday, 26th February 2007 @ 01:54:48 AM AEST
(User
Info | Send
a Message)
|
Huckin' Filarious, my dear... the joke here is one shared on me, as I believe that, I also, have lived in this house, lol!!!
BigLoveMuchPeace
~me |
|
|
Re: Moving Out, Moving On
(User Rating: 1 )
by Former_Member on
Tuesday, 27th February 2007 @ 02:15:24 AM AEST
(User
Info | Send
a Message)
|
Spike,I reckon your house and mine share more than just the odd gene.Perhaps we should set up a society for those cruelly betrayed by their house.It renews my faith reading your poetry,whether it produces a smile or deeper fall into thought.
Den |
|
|
Re: Moving Out, Moving On
(User Rating: 1 )
by Former_Member on
Tuesday, 27th February 2007 @ 07:24:51 PM AEST
(User
Info | Send
a Message)
|
lol @ the last line ... spike .. you devil!
Having just "downsized" myself, I can relate. Sometimes our
surroundings become so unfriendly .. and cold. I find the
"flat" idea, much more appealing, just for it's coziness!
As for me .. my place just got too demanding! It literally
took on it's own personality and became the master of
all!! It was annoying at best! lol
I loved this write, S, if only for it's pure honest and straightforward
musings. (I just finished the last bits of "responsibility" I
owed my former address .. and glad to be done with it!)
Excellent, post poet.
~Breezy |
|
|
Re: Moving Out, Moving On
(User Rating: 1 )
by artjunkiekyle on
Wednesday, 14th March 2007 @ 02:26:27 PM AEST
(User
Info | Send
a Message)
|
this is very cute and i love your sense of humor. thanks for posting.
-kyle |
|
|
Re: Moving Out, Moving On
(User Rating: 1 )
by needledancing on
Sunday, 25th March 2007 @ 08:23:39 AM AEST
(User
Info | Send
a Message)
|
| Hey this sounds like the house I just bought...lol Good and love the ending. |
|
|
|
· 
Poetry
Community
Members
Areas
Reference
Search
Top
Others
