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The Thread
Contributed by
EarlofLeicester
on
Tuesday, 20th February 2007 @ 10:59:04 AM in AEST
Topic:
Lifepoems
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Every day it stress more
as one burden after another
is tied on the end;
they start to smother
Fabric is such a soft thing
not tough like steel
its load bearing capabilities
are extremely genteel
It hasn't snapped yet
but I suspect it will soon
No answers come to me
when I divine with the rune
The waiting's so hard
as the fabric quivers in stress
Collapse is imminent
Under so much duress
Copyright ©
EarlofLeicester
... [
2007-02-20 10:59:04]
(Date/Time posted on
site)
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Re: The Thread
(User Rating: 1 )
by needledancing on
Tuesday, 20th February 2007 @ 11:13:59 AM AEST
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| I like this as it as "a thread "could be our feelings, our lives, any delicate line that links us all to life...good write |
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Re: The Thread
(User Rating: 1 )
by brew on
Tuesday, 20th February 2007 @ 11:15:16 AM AEST
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Hmmm.....Not bad for a first post. Yes, stress can be more than one, expects.....Yet, it can be flowed though, with such grace. Set the mind, to let it flow....dont dwendle on such a stagnated thing. Breath......all will fall where the pieces will lay. Thanks for sharing.
Brew~ |
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Re: The Thread
(User Rating: 1 )
by yangdantien on
Tuesday, 20th February 2007 @ 12:16:49 PM AEST
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Gratefully the tapestry of life can recover around rips and tears as there is enough breathing room for all especially once it is unfurled as in this fine first offering. May I humbly add to consider reading your work aloud before you post as you may catch small inconsistencies to polish.
Good Job
Peace
Yangdantien |
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Re: The Thread
(User Rating: 1 )
by emystar on
Wednesday, 21st February 2007 @ 06:19:18 AM AEST
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Awesome writing and welcome to our glbal family here.
Big huggs,
emy |
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Re: The Thread
(User Rating: 1 )
by Rakerman1999 on
Wednesday, 21st February 2007 @ 06:21:51 PM AEST
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This was a good idea for a poem and I like the concept.
I tend to agree with Yangdantein that reading the write to yourself aloud can help find any hiccups in the flow or the ease of rhyme.
All in all well done my friend and welcome
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