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I'm Sorry
Contributed by
annoiosa
on
Monday, 19th February 2007 @ 02:08:09 PM in AEST
Topic:
ApologyPoetry
|
I'm not the kind of person
That can easily say how I feel
I like to keep things to myself
I don't like things to be made a big deal.
So I'm writing you this poem
Because I'll never be able to say
The words to tell you what I'm thinking
Or what I'm feeling from day to day.
We've known each other too long
To be doing this kind of thing
But it will almost always definitely happen
Especially as much as we drink.
I can't imagine you not being my friend
And maybe I thought that there could be more
But I'm not willing to risk that again
I almost lost you yesterday, of that I am sure.
I apologize for how I acted towards you
Albeit lame, it's my only excuse
But I can act like a whole different person
Because of my excessive alcohol use.
I will never, ever be mad at you
I was just embarrassed, is all
And the beer that I drank seemed to double my shame
This morning when I remembered, I was appalled.
I really do have a big problem
That jokingly I'll readily admit
But I know that it's true, and when I'm by myself
I get scared, but I just can't quit.
I told you that I don't want to live by myself
Because of stupid things, like fixing a drawer
Although I don't know what it is
There is something that is so much more.
In the rare event that I'm actually sober
And lay down in bed at night
I toss, and I turn, and my heart pounds
I don't sleep well because of my fright.
I have no idea why I'm like that
Or what it is that scares me so badly
But alcohol is the only thing that takes it away
It's the only way I can sleep, sadly.
Sometimes I just don't feel right
If I don't get something to drink
And I can't ever stop at one or two
But "I can" is what I always think.
On my list of priorities
Drinking is number one
I have no food in my refrigerator
And my laundry is rarely done.
I didn't get to the bank on Friday
Because I went straight to the bar
I had double vision driving home that night
And I could have killed my friend in the car.
I didn't get there Saturday morning either
Because I slept in too late
Yet I go out and spend money that I don't have
O, myself I truly do hate.
Now I sit here at work trying to type this
But my hands are still shaking from last night
Or maybe it's the 12 cups of coffee I drink everyday
Hey, at least I made it to work, right?
And I think that I'm fat, but would I cut out the beer?
Of course not, I'd rather not eat.
So for lunch I brought with me a lettuce sandwich
Now there's a meal that can't be beat.
My stomach hurts me everyday
Because of how hungry I am
But if I eat I feel like I'll fail
I feel like I'm stuck in such a jam.
Now I'm invited to dinner tomorrow evening
And of course I had to say yes
Because it's with my co-worker, my boss, and my boss's boss
Now I will have to eat, and hide the hickey that's on my chest.
I have two little nieces
And I'm the only aunt that they have
But Auntie's never around to play
She's always at the bar...how sad.
So by now I'm sure you've realized
Just what a mess I am
I never meant to hurt you
Please forgive me if you can.
This is why I shouldn't date
And probably won't anytime soon
At least until I've fixed myself
Who am I kidding...I know I'm doomed.
I hope that I can change things
I really am such a fool
Until then, you're the only one who knows
So please - Don't tell a soul...
Copyright ©
annoiosa
... [
2007-02-19 14:08:09]
(Date/Time posted on
site)
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Re: I'm Sorry
(User Rating: 1 )
by MickeyPigKnuckles on
Tuesday, 20th February 2007 @ 10:07:53 AM AEST
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a Message)
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annoiosa, What an insightful poem which displays no denial which is a great step forward. I am impressed with your ability to write with such a complete depthness that many will relate to. I want to thank you for sharing a little of yourself and especially for giving us such a bit of poetry that is real for many.
Mickey Pig Knuckles
 [imageshack.us] |
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Re: I'm Sorry
(User Rating: 1 )
by PhantomVampyress on
Tuesday, 20th February 2007 @ 12:58:46 PM AEST
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a Message)
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wow t his is a very powerful straightforward write.. well the first step in fixing somethign is realizing you have a problem with it.. I hope you can get help from drinking.. its going to destroy your life.. God bless
vampyress Jenni |
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