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Stashed Away
Contributed by
hauntedscorp
on
Saturday, 17th February 2007 @ 01:52:30 AM in AEST
Topic:
selfstruggles
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At what point did I become nothing?
Slowly consumed by my insides rotting
The success in failure became overwhelming
the too-late discovery that you were my everything
I pen this piece on a solemn note
travesties of love and life is all she wrote
A genuine **** up in both departments
a slew of neurosis in stashed compartments
I'm sorry I didn't even try,
but my love for you was not a lie
Stolen emotion -- beat up and swollen
Remembered as dismembered; pent-up with anger
My phone is ringing; don't take the call
no cushioning words can break this fall
From ten stories up, I observe the city lights --
letting go of the railing, I plunge into the night.
Copyright ©
hauntedscorp
... [
2007-02-17 01:52:30]
(Date/Time posted on
site)
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Re: Stashed Away
(User Rating: 1 )
by feralpen on
Saturday, 17th February 2007 @ 06:57:20 AM AEST
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| I'm hoping that 'Stashed Away' is the descripter for the sadness and despair of your poem. You have such a gift of clarity and presentation in your writing. You elicit strong emotion by writing with strength and depth. It's a true mark of talent when one can to this. Your ending is chilling, in it's contempory style it sounds so final. Very nice handling of a dark subject. |
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Re: Stashed Away
(User Rating: 1 )
by Former_Member on
Saturday, 17th February 2007 @ 09:42:22 AM AEST
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Sweetie .. oh my! How I have missed your work!!
And this .. THIS .. let me just say, I am happy
for the author's note .. (text me girl! lol)
That last stanza is unbelievable emotive. I
can't tell you how affecting those four little
lines are .. and leaves this reader feeling ..
completely and utterly . .
beyon recall ~
check your Pm's hun ..
*hugs*
~Breezy |
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Re: Stashed Away
(User Rating: 1 )
by Silent-No-More on
Saturday, 17th February 2007 @ 09:01:28 PM AEST
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Scorpichachitabing! I'm so thrilled to see you posting again!!
This is... well..... yeh.... ouch. I'm with Rox... that last stanza is heavy and unsettling. I did, yes, bear in mind your author's note.... but.... "From ten stories up" made it hard to do so (were it twelve stories, twenty, five, any-other-number, it would be different, see). Ah, the dark of night... it makes the hard things harder, no doubt. I do so hope each subsequent dawn has brought a bit more peace with it.
I hope you're doing well, that you don't regret sharing this and that you'll be sticking around for a while. We've missed you about the place! Seriously, Rox and I were just saying the same last evening. Rather emphatically, even!
*hugs you*
~Snem
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Re: Stashed Away
(User Rating: 1 )
by Vampirequeen on
Saturday, 17th February 2007 @ 10:16:37 PM AEST
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scorpy baby i have miss your work also.
where have you been girl?
anyways damn good write.
hugs |
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Re: Stashed Away
(User Rating: 1 )
by yangdantien on
Saturday, 17th February 2007 @ 10:56:52 PM AEST
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This put me near the railing catching you before you plunged fully lost. Later with arms wide flying through the world where no matter what happens joy or disaster:
"...Near, far, wherever you are
I believe that the heart does go on..."
Give time a chance.
Peace
Yangdantien
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Re: Stashed Away
(User Rating: 1 )
by Willofree on
Sunday, 18th February 2007 @ 09:17:24 PM AEST
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This is a potent write, and I'm sure glad it does not portray how you are feeling now. It feels sad that you were hurting so bad....next time your absent so long from posting, i plan on checking up on you. :) I have really missed reading your writings, and getting your feedback on mine as well.
Hang in there trooper, and when we're down, remember this too shall pass.
Take care, my f riend
Will, PS. I think you were right about the choice of the topic on my last poem. Thanks Scorp |
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Re: Stashed Away
(User Rating: 1 )
by Former_Member on
Wednesday, 21st February 2007 @ 10:19:01 AM AEST
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I told you I was going to comment, you didn't believe me now did you? Well O_o who was wrong? You scorpy. You.
I like it, I like it a lot, it's sad, and has this little sense of urgency to it, but I think I understand you enough to know you're not one to make a stupid decision like that. You're smart.
You say it about me all the time, that I have this way of conveying my feelings through poetry, but I don't think you've realized the clarity and relation you put forth into your own. You've this way of taking everyone along for the trip and having them hang on your every word, then they are left knowing exactly how you felt. If that makes any sense whatsoever. I apologize if it doesn't lol. It really is a pleasure scorpz, to read your writing. Try not and make it another 2-3 months before we see some more lol.
I know I've already said that.. I think.
-Cassy |
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Re: Stashed Away
(User Rating: 1 )
by needledancing on
Wednesday, 9th May 2007 @ 10:28:38 PM AEST
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| A powerful write of the emotion and upheavel one has to go through. Mentally we try to destroy ourselves as a final question...if I jumped or flung myself would they be sorry that they are without me???Then sooner or later we do grow past it and love again. It's just so impossible to believe when we first go down that empty road. A great piece reflecting our mental stages of acceptance. |
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Re: Stashed Away
(User Rating: 1 )
by ladyfawn on
Sunday, 15th June 2014 @ 09:47:20 PM AEST
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got a chuckle from your note... tho the serious aura of
the poem had me reaching out to grab you, such a
dramatic powerful write, my heart still pounds....
hugs n' love nessa |
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